As I slipped into the marital bed at 9:15 this morning, the wife (mine - I'm too old for anybody else's) sat bolt upright and said 'What the hell was that?' 'Just thunder,' I replied (I'm too old even for mine). It rained stair rods for twenty minutes, and then the storm drifted off westwards.
An hour and a half later, as I drove round the M50 and on to the N32 past Naqueragua and the Darndale Hilton, the storm was safely over our new Taoiseach's constituency, and the sky was brighter over the Broadmeadow. (I do hope B-B-B-Brian has more luck keeping track of his petty cash than did B-B-B-Bertie.)
When I got to the Village for the Bob Kerr Irish Senior Cup match, the start was delayed by only fifteen minutes. North Down had won the toss, and asked Malahide to post a score. The umpires took to the field sporting cloths for drying the ball: Peter Thew had folded over his waistband a towel in the pattern and hues of the Irish tricolour; Kevin Gallagher had a pair of red undies sticking out from his belt - they looked like the pair of a certain lady's knickers presented to Phoenix by Gordon Greenidge!
It didn't take long for Conor Geraghty to chase a wide one into Peter Shields's gloves; in another over or two John Pryor shouldered arms to a ball hitting the top of off, and Peter Connell had two-for 'bowling stock', as John Wills puts it.
Tiamur Khan was bowling a better class of stock, a good line just back of a length, and moving the odd one a couple of inches in to the right-hander off the seam. That was more than good enough to account for the Village pro, James Henry, who didn't move his feet and got bowled, and Shane Getkate, who left his feet in front of middle and leg.
Andrew Pyne had watched all this and looked in no trouble at all, but then played over a straight one. Phil Markey played round another straight one. John Byrne showed a bit of variety by nicking off to slip. It was 28/7 in the 17th over, and deepest doggy doo-dah time.
Mike O'Brien and Glenn Kirwan played up and down the line to bowling from Gavin McKenna and Martin Morland that was straight up and down, and eventually each batsman got to remember what a half volley looked like and what to do with it. With the score advanced to 52, O'Brien (18) lunged at a wide one, before Stevie Smith offered some passive resistance and Sammy Cassidy (12) was more active in helping Glenda (24*) to take the final score to 78 off 39.5 overs.
All the North Down bowlers' figure were most flattering: Connell finished with 4/12 off his ten; Khan 3/10 off 7; McKenna 2/35 off 10 overs of left-arm trundle (Reinhart Strydom‘s place is not under threat on this show); Moreland 0/13 off ten overs of the straightest of straight breaks; and Andrew Haire 1/6. The Malahide batting was truly awful.
The Village bowling proceeded to rival it in awfulness. After 46 gimmes, Joe Montgomery (25) got bored and missed a straight one. This prompted a tea break. Things after a cuppa didn't improve for Malahide: the Coastguard helicopter circled only to decide there was no possibility of rescue and fly off. A couple of decisions went the home team's way, with Taimur gave out yards about his. I don't remember his compatriot, Javed Miandad, ever complaining, but then, I don't remember Javed ever being given out lbw, certainly not on home soil. I can't comment. I was sitting at square leg, about the same view Robin Haire had at backward point when he kept on appealing for lbw off son Andrew's bowling. Eventually the score of 79 was arrived at with three wickets down off 17.5 overs and Ryan Haire unbeaten on 26.
As the football commentators keep telling us, form is temporary but class is permanent. North Down are obviously a useful outfit, but don't have the class to win the Bob Kerr. Malahide will have to do much better than this even to threaten Pembroke in the DGM semi, let alone County/Railway in the final. It could be a long, hard season for the Village People.