Throughout the year Stu casts his eye over events both on and off the Irish cricketing field. He was with Ireland in Jamaica before providing regular comment on the Leinster domestic scene.

April Fool's Day: 4:50 a.m.

Dragged kicking from my bed by an irate wife (mine, I hasten to add!). Still under the influence after the Arsenal v Barcelona match. Sleepwalk into my clothes, down a cup of tea, am poured into the car. What have I forgotten?

5:30 a.m. Collapse in the lobby of Dublin Airport, with luggage flying everywhere. One man kindly retrieves the spare battery to the Canon camera. Another insists I need a wheelchair. I don't argue. Whisked through check-in and security and onto the plane.

8:00 a.m. Because I was wheeled onto the plane, they insist on wheeling me off at Gatwick. Meet everybody except John Boy, who missed the flight. No problem: there's another at 8:45. The team are escorted to a lounge, while Ian Callender and I fight our way through the Madding crowd to get breakfast.

11:00 a.m. John Boy missed the 8:45 flight as well, and is now on his way to Heathrow where he will get the shuttle bus round the M25. Might just make the flight.

12:45 p.m. Plane loaded ready for take-off. No sign of John Boy.

13:40 p.m. Plane takes off.

23:10 p.m. BST. 17:10 Jamaican time. Land in Kingston. Team (minus John Boy) are whisked through immigration while Ian, Julian Fountain (fielding coach) and I are at the back of a long, long queue that is just about moving. I'm hot and exhausted. Ask for a chair to sit down on. Am taken out of the line with Ian as minder and put through a special channel. Immigration officer wants to know how I can take photos with one hand. Look in vain for my transfer, but find Julian's. Can't find Julian. Take it anyway.

The driver wants US$28. I tell him $20. Arrive at my hotel. Give him $25. He takes Ian round the corner to his hotel and asks for another $25. Ian tells him to go forth and multiply. Take a shower and meet Julian in the lobby. Apologise for stealing his transfer and offer to buy him a beer. He flew Jo'burg – Gatwick – Kingston and just wants his bed. Down three rapid Red Stripes and hit mine.

Good Friday: Sleep like a rat. Have a good breakfast with Julian, who's got some really interesting ideas about fitness, training, etc. Unpack. Can't find power lead to computer, nor mouse, nor memory card reader, nor mobile phone charger. Reception oblige with a charger, but can't help with the rest. No shops open, so laze by the pool and catch up on reading. Curry goat for dinner and a few beers with Roy Torrens and Ian Callender. Easter Saturday: Sleep like the same rat. [The reference is to Bob Dylan's MotorPsycho Nightmare Blues - 'I was sleeping like a rat when I heard somethin' jerkin' / There stood Rita looking just like Tony Perkins'] Breakfast isn't served till 7:30, and Julian has to be next door to catch the team coach at 7:45. He grabs a fistful of fruit and races off like a bonobo.

8:50 a.m. My driver (recommended by the hotel), Mr Brown, arrives. He knows a good computer shop not far away. Where we get there we see a sign saying it opens at ten. Back to hotel for coffee.

9:50 a.m. Return to shop. Find another sign reading 'Closed for Easter Weekend'. Find another shop. No suitable power lead. Find a third shop. Nothing. Drive to Chedwin Park, which I had been told was on the Spanish Town road.

11:00 a.m. Arrive Chedwin Park at drinks. It is on the Spanish Town road, but the other side of Spanish Town! Sit down in the pavilion. Ireland are in the field. Somebody fumbles in the covers, and Julian makes copious notes. 'Are you doing fines, Julian?' I ask. A withering look tells me it's time to get out the cameras, so I walk round toward the sight screen and make camp in the shade of a mango tree.

12 noon (I can never remember whether it's a.m. or p.m.) Lunch. The local possee, a nice bunch of guys, start on the Red Stripe. Set up cameras on tripods (two of each – now there's professional!).

12:45 p.m. Get Connell bowling Horace Miller with my third shutter click in anger.

12:50 – 3:30 p.m. Get lots of pictures of beefy hits by Lambert and Bernard. The possee continue with the Red Stripe. The sponsor's girls get lovelier by the hour. Perhaps it's the sun, because I'm no longer in the shade of the mango tree.

3:30 – 4:50 p.m. The possee eat some jerk chicken to soak up the Red Stripe, so they can drink some more. Ireland fight back in the field and dismiss Jamaica for 339 off 87.5 overs. It's been a good day's cricket, and I try to work out if I've enough camera memory to last the trip, given that I've no means of downloading the images. I wonder if Pete Johnson has any room on his computer. I can always buy more memory cards, although the prices in Kingston were even higher than in Cape Town before Christmas when I paid way over the odds for an 8GB card for my Olympus.

5:00 p.m. Mr Brown drives me home. Mr Brown is a very good driver. Mr Brown is a very nice man. Mr. Brown is a very helpful man. Mr. Brown is not cheap.

6:00 p.m. Message from wife saying no sign of power lead or anything else, although I did leave the phone charger behind. Go up to room and search all bag pockets. Nothing. Notice computer not sitting flush in case. Guess why. Dinky little pocket containing power lead, mouse, card reader. I'm in business. Several beers to celebrate. Dinner with Ian Callender. Several more beers. Mouse not working properly – can't drag and drop. Power indicator lights on computer not their normal electric blue. Go to bed.

Good Friday: Sleep like a rat. Have a good breakfast with Julian, who's got some really interesting ideas about fitness, training, etc. Unpack. Can't find power lead to computer, nor mouse, nor memory card reader, nor mobile phone charger. Reception oblige with a charger, but can't help with the rest. No shops open, so laze by the pool and catch up on reading. Curry goat for dinner and a few beers with Roy Torrens and Ian Callender.

Easter Saturday: Sleep like the same rat. [The reference is to Bob Dylan's MotorPsycho Nightmare Blues - 'I was sleeping like a rat when I heard somethin' jerkin' / There stood Rita looking just like Tony Perkins'] Breakfast isn't served till 7:30, and Julian has to be next door to catch the team coach at 7:45. He grabs a fistful of fruit and races off like a bonobo.

8:50 a.m. My driver (recommended by the hotel), Mr Brown, arrives. He knows a good computer shop not far away. Where we get there we see a sign saying it opens at ten. Back to hotel for coffee.

9:50 a.m. Return to shop. Find another sign reading 'Closed for Easter Weekend'. Find another shop. No suitable power lead. Find a third shop. Nothing. Drive to Chedwin Park, which I had been told was on the Spanish Town road.

11:00 a.m. Arrive Chedwin Park at drinks. It is on the Spanish Town road, but the other side of Spanish Town! Sit down in the pavilion. Ireland are in the field. Somebody fumbles in the covers, and Julian makes copious notes. 'Are you doing fines, Julian?' I ask. A withering look tells me it's time to get out the cameras, so I walk round toward the sight screen and make camp in the shade of a mango tree.

12 noon (I can never remember whether it's a.m. or p.m.) Lunch. The local possee, a nice bunch of guys, start on the Red Stripe. Set up cameras on tripods (two of each – now there's professional!).

12:45 p.m. Get Connell bowling Horace Miller with my third shutter click in anger.

12:50 – 3:30 p.m. Get lots of pictures of beefy hits by Lambert and Bernard. The possee continue with the Red Stripe. The sponsor's girls get lovelier by the hour. Perhaps it's the sun, because I'm no longer in the shade of the mango tree.

3:30 – 4:50 p.m. The possee eat some jerk chicken to soak up the Red Stripe, so they can drink some more. Ireland fight back in the field and dismiss Jamaica for 339 off 87.5 overs. It's been a good day's cricket, and I try to work out if I've enough camera memory to last the trip, given that I've no means of downloading the images. I wonder if Pete Johnson has any room on his computer. I can always buy more memory cards, although the prices in Kingston were even higher than in Cape Town before Christmas when I paid way over the odds for an 8GB card for my Olympus.

5:00 p.m. Mr Brown drives me home. Mr Brown is a very good driver. Mr Brown is a very nice man. Mr. Brown is a very helpful man. Mr. Brown is not cheap.

6:00 p.m. Message from wife saying no sign of power lead or anything else, although I did leave the phone charger behind. Go up to room and search all bag pockets. Nothing. Notice computer not sitting flush in case. Guess why. Dinky little pocket containing power lead, mouse, card reader. I'm in business. Several beers to celebrate. Dinner with Ian Callender. Several more beers. Mouse not working properly – can't drag and drop. Power indicator lights on computer not their normal electric blue. Go to bed.

Easter Sunday: 9:00 a.m. Mr Brown collects me and Ian and doesn't have us at Chedwin Park until 9:50. There was a serious accident on the road, and there was a tailback caused by drivers stopping to gawp at the scene! I'm still gassing at 10:05 when Porty flaps a catch off a half-tracker, but by the time I've set up the cameras Nobbler and Stirlo are batting well, particularly Stirlo. Get some good shots of their good shots. Say hello to John Boy.

11:00 a.m. Different possee under the mango tree today – nowhere near as well-educated as yesterday's crowd, but still good fun. A bit like the Clontarf crowd yesterday and the Donemana crowd today. Basil McNamee joins me in the shade – he's very well-educated and a Donemana man! Basil wonders whether the disco music blasting out between overs and at every stoppage would be tolerated at Lord's. I reply that they might just tolerate a string quartet playing Haydn or Mozart, but probably not.

12:40 – 5:00 p.m. The Irish batting continues to impress, but after Stirlo is unluckily run out, Boatsy is out of nick, Nobbler middles the ball straight to short leg, and the impetus is lost. Cusie and Kev get things back on track until Kev is run out in the over before tea. The three sponsor's girls are really cute: two are string things, with skinny legs all the way up to their armpits; the third is what the News of the World would call 'attractively built' with a pretty face to match. I take plenty of water (brand name Wata) on board. Whitey doesn't pick Dewar's top-spinner, and the new ball cleans up Wilson and Connell. 275-9 is 40 less than Ireland would have hoped for.

6:00 p.m. Delivered by Mr Brown, I take some more liquid on board – not Wata this time - and start dowloading photos. The power lights are still funny. Eat, have a few beers with Roy, and go to bed.

Easter Monday: 9:30 a.m. Delivered to Chedwin Park by Mr Brown, but haven't got the cameras set up in time to catch Gary Kidd's off stump cartwheeling. Shame, because that was about the most interesting thing that happened all day. What Jamaica were doing, I don't know. I don't think they knew. That was unfortunate for the really good crowd that built up in the afternoon: some of Saturday's possee, most of Sunday's, and in the afternoon a bunch of Jamaica Cricket alickadoos. I took Basil's picture with his Jamaican counterpart, Phil Campbell. There were even two more sponsor's girls. A declaration around 3:30 would have given Ireland about 230 to get in about 42 overs. But Jamaica just went on. Andre Russell, having completed his maiden first-class fifty, went on employing his strong-arm straight hoik to complete a maiden century. Fair play to the man, but nobody else was terribly interested.

4:00 p.m. The umpires call 'Time!' Everybody shakes hands, interviews are conducted, beers are drunk, and the girls pose some more. For a final time Mr Brown delivers me to the Pegasus. For a final time I pay him.

6:00 p.m. Have a couple of beers and some dinner. Take the computer down to the bar and work on it off the battery. There was nothing wrong with the mouse – it was the glass top on the desk in the hotel room! After barely an hour the computer tells me that I'm on the last 5% of juice in the battery, and that if I don't power off, it will. Do as I'm told and have another beer. Go up to the room and connect the computer to the mains. Notice one red light and nothing else. Don't tell me it's not charging. Try another power point. It's not charging. Sleep really badly.

Tuesday 6th April: 8:00 a.m. Breakfast. Ask Reception if they have a computer whizz on the staff. Yes, but he doesn't come in until ten. Typical bloody academic! Borrow the phone charger. Pack.

11.30 a.m. Go to Reception. 'Any news on the computer whizz?' 'He's standing next to you.' Five minutes later, things taken apart, put back together again, buttons pressed, it's working. How did he do that? Could I do that?

12 noon. Transfer to Norman Manley Airport. Nice young man. He jumps the queue with my baggage and gets me checked in. I slip him $10 and he slips me his card. Read a bit, but doze.

3:25 p.m. Take off for Montego Bay. One of the hostesses, a very handsome Jamaican in her middle late thirties, could have me if she played her cards right.

3:50 p.m. Land.

4:30 p.m. Clear Immigration and Customs. It was an internal fight, I didn't immigrate, I didn't go through any duty-free zone. Talk about make-work! A driver takes me east along the north coast heading for Runaway Bay. When I drove this road in 1984 it was little better than a goat track, about the same as the Drogheda-Dundalk road was at that time. Now the first 15 km are dual carriageway, and the remaining 40 km decent single carriageway with plenty of overtaking. The whole coast has filled up with resort hotels. Breezes, Runaway Bay, is one of these.

7:00 p.m. Showered and relaxed, I'm having a beer when I'm joined by Basil, who came with the team on the bus. He offers to buy me a beer, and is slightly surprised when I tell him he can't. Everything becomes clear when I explain that it's all-inclusive. After a couple of snifters we have have dinner. I drift off to bed.

Wednesday 7th April: 7:30 a.m. Everybody is down for breakfast and the coach leaves for Discovery Bay, back towards Montego Bay. There was a bauxite terminal in the Bay, and the Kaiser ground would appear to be an old bauxite quarry, with the back wall forming the western bounday, three stands the southern bounday and the pavilion on the southeast. Basil and I set up shop in the stand next to the pavilion, in the shade and with a lovely breeze coming off the sea to the north. To add to the already good, there was a little bar off the back of the stand. The top brass of the local police assembled in the stand, while the ordinary constables and guys in riot gear patrolled the ground. We wondered who they were after. Both teams warmed up next to the square, Ireland's fielding practice went on till 9:15, and the toss was made in the pavilion (Porty did have his gear on). I know several members of the Dublin umpiring fraternity who would have been putting both teams on disciplinary charges for such behaviour! Ireland left out Trent, Nobbler and Gary Kidd for a variety of reasons.

9:30 a.m. - 4:45 p.m. Ireland, inserted, lost Paul Stirling in the second over and, after three lovely shots, Andre Botha in the sixth. But Porty was enjoying himself, dumping Russell over the Ed Coyne stand (no, I don't know). And Gary Wilson batted as well as I've ever seen him (which, I admit, isn't very often). Porty was bowled in the 19th over with the score on 101, but Kev looked comfortable as 150 was passed inside 30 overs, and Gary passed 50. And then the wheels fell off. Russell was brought back for two overs and got a wicket in each with high quality seam bowling. Only Nigel Jones made a score as Ireland crumbled to 229 all out in 49.2 overs.

Ireland had to keep taking wickets to put pressure on Jamaica, and although they had three out before 100 was up, they couldn't get the fourth. It wasn't for want of trying. John Mooney bowled a super spell at Bernard, and his umpire grading form wouldn't have been terribly complimentary, had he one to fill in. George Dockrell bowled a bit too leggy in his first spell, but was on the money thereafter, going for 39 off his 10 on a flat track. The fact that Boatsy and Cusie eouldn't bowl really told. Hyatt was in complete command, and although he got out when past 100 it didn't matter – Bernard was motoring by then. Baugh boxed the winning six with 16 balls to spare.

7:00 p.m. Drinks. Buy a sweepstake ticket from John Boy based on the final scores of the Masters. I can afford to lose $10. Meal. More drinks. Even more drinks. Bed.

Thursday 8th April: 11:00 a.m. Transfer from Breezes, Runaway Bay, to Pebbles, Falmouth. Pebbles is for families with children. It's much nicer than Breezes. My room opens onto the beach. There's kids' laughter everywhere. And a few yummy mummies. Write reports all afternoon. Have a couple of beers and a pleasant supper. Take a very drinkable Argie Merlot back to the room and start work on yesterday's pictures. Sleep like a log.

Friday 9th April:

8:30 a.m. Breakfast. Work all day on pictures. Grab the odd coffee from the restaurant.

6:00 p.m. Drinks. Am surprised to find Julian at the bar. Breezes Falmouth was full, so the non-essential were overflowed to Pebbles. Apparently Breezes Falmouth is a total kip. Fred, the Jamaican Liaison Officer, is here too. 'How am I supposed to liaise if I'm three miles along the coast from the team?' I don't reply because the Digicel girl walks past. Fred, myself and a few Jamaicans have dinner. And wine. It's a cab sauv tonight. Is it really that nice? Drink more. Yes, it is. Sleep very well.

Saturday 10th April:

7:30 a.m. Breakfast.

8:45 a.m. Take cab to Trelawny stadium.

8:55 a.m. Arrive. It's very impressive. Would that we had a facility like this in Ireland! Set up cameras high in the stand.

10:10 a.m. Start delayed. Jamaica win toss and again put Ireland in. Stirlo and Nobbler murder Russell's first over and he is immediately replaced by left-armer Santokie. Nobbler bowled, but Stirlo and Boatsy take the score to 43-1 off four overs. Great start. Then that pair plus Cusie go, and at the end of the Power Play it's 51-4.

Porty and Gary Wilson bat well to move score to 79-4 off 11. Ball not coming on, and both are out trying to force the pace. TJ and Whitey get it to 96-6 in 16, but it's hard work. Whitey miscues and TJ is the victim of a very generous umpiring decision. John Boy sees it to the last over. Gary Kidd caught in quicksand going for a second. Scoreboard shows 126. Something to bowl at.

Olympus camera gives up the ghost – battery flat and I forgot to charge the spare. Rats. Have to use the Canon for both ends.

11:40 a.m. Scoreboard shows target as 128. Something more to bowl at! Parchment belts a four and then holes out. Jamaicans have no numbers on shirts and very small lettering. Lambert's beer belly and Baugh's smallness the only distinguishing features. I write down that Hyatt is bowled in TJ's second over, but when I later checked the scorecard, it was Campbell. 39-2 at the end of the Power Play – good stuff.

Hyatt (who I thought was Campbell) and Lambert both caught. 55-4 off 10 overs – keep it going, lads. Pagon slogs Kidd to Wilson. Boatsy's third over is a wicket maiden! Super catch by Porty to get rid off Russell. Scoreboard shows Jamaica needing 42 off the last 4 overs with three wickets in hand. Can we make a horlicks of this?

Nine off Cusie, then ten off Peter Connell, then just four off Cusie. The announcer says Jamaica need twenty off the last over. Odean Brown finds Gary Kidd's quicksand and is run out. Santokie slogs a six. A wide makes things interesting, but ten are required off the last ball, which is prodded into the off side, and we've done it!

1:00 p.m. Very pleased, return to hotel. Immediately look at Ian's scorecard on the website. Shocked to see we won by only three runs! Ireland scored only 124, and Jamaica finished on 121! Work on reports then start on photographs. Good shot of TJ's bowled in his second over, with stump flattened and non-striker's name clearly visible – CAMPBELL. I was right! The scorers didn't know their asking rate from their elementary, my dear Watson!

6:15 p.m. Remember to charge both spare batteries.

6:30 p.m. Beers, dinner, watch two yummy mummies dancing. Am reminded of the Ray Davies song that contains the line 'Nice bit of old / Just shows what you can do with the right attitude'. Put the spares in the cameras and charge the other batteries.

Sunday 11th April:

8:30 a.m. Breakfast. Continue to work on the photographs. Am gradually speeding up, but still spending too much time agonising over precisely who is doing what to whom. Haven't come to accept the journalists' mottos: never let the facts get in the way of a good story; and a picture is worth a thousand words.

1:00 p.m. Back to Trelawny stadium. Set up cameras while Canada trail a distant second to Jamaica. Very nice sea breeze builds up. Too nice – the Canon camera with the monster lens blows over knocking the lens hood flying as it crashes into the seating. Put everything back together, realign, fire off a few shots. Seems to be OK. Have to keep one hand on the tripod as the breeze keeps gusting. Only got one working hand, so limits the possibilities for doing anything else. Rejig the Canon to do both ends and keep the Olympus in reserve.

2:20 p.m. Chanderpaul and Flecher open batting for W Indies. Kev in for Peter Connell. No announcement of teams – too busy rabbiting on about the sponsors. Flecher caught in TJ's first over. Chanderpaul bowled in Kev's second. Sarwan obscenely lbw in TJ's second – I didn't think the ump was going to give it, but Sarwan looked very guilty about hanging around! 10-3 off four.

Darren Sammy and Deonarine struggle to 40 in the tenth over. Sammy stumped off Stirlo. Dockers bowls two good overs to left handers. Replaced by Johnny Kidd. [Remember Johnny Kidd and the Pirates? 'I'll never get over you, dum, dum, dum, dum, I'll never get over you, dum, dum, dum, dum, I just can't keep it a secret any more, no, no, no, no, etc., etc.' It wasn't all sex, drugs and rock 'n roll in the swinging sixties, you know!] Seven off the over. Still, 63-4 off 14 is a pretty good effort.

In Kidd's second over a waist-high full toss is dumped for 6. Striker's end umpire signals and calls 'no ball'. Not his call, and not a no ball. Bowler's end umpire signals and cautions Kidd. Should caution his mate for interfering and getting it wrong. 13 off the over. Whitey replaces Stirlo and immediately goes for 6, 6: the remaining four go for 5 and Deonarine's wicket.

Dockers goes for 9, mainly in leg-side wides. Cusie goes for 17 and a wicket. Dockers goes for 9 and a wicket. Cusie goes for 15. Oh dear!

3:55 p.m. A decent start and we might get close to this – Rampaul is the only one above military medium. Porty wafts and gone. Nobbler surpised by Benn's straight one. Gary Wilson stumped to make it 9-3. Oh dear!

Stirlo and Whitey graft, but take to Miller. Plug pulled on Miller. Whitey bowled. Bernard leaks a few runs. Stirlo goes. At 14 overs we're four runs ahead of them. Cusie goes. TJ and John Boy take what's offered, which is thirty too few.

Commentator persists in ignoring the maxim that if you've nothing to say, don't say anything. Moron. Oh dear! At least the crowd is happy, which they certainly weren't at three o' clock.

6:00 p.m. Back to hotel. Shower. Beers. Dinner. Bottle of malbec back to room. Deathless prose. Pack. Sleep.

Monday 12th April:

4:40 a.m. Awake before the wake-up call.

4:45 a.m. Receive wake-up call. Wash and dress. Collect belongings and trudge to Reception. Get lost in the dark.

5:20 a.m. Car arrives to take me to Montego Bay Airport.

5:55 a.m. Arrive at Montego Bay Airport. Check-in doesn't open for another 25 minutes. What on earth am I doing here so bloody early for a 9:20 flight? OK, Dublin Airport is pandemonium of a Monday morning, but Montego Bay? Check in. Have my usual grumble with security. Do I look like a suicide bomber? Please may I have a chair to take off my shoes? There's a metal pin in my left arm which triggers the alarm – see? Read. Doze.

9:15 a.m. Plane takes off early.

9:40 a.m. Plane lands early.

10:15 a.m. Clear immigration and customs. Again. If I drove from Montego Bay to Kingston, would I have to fill in all these forms? No, sir. Then why do I have to do it when I fly? No reply.

10:55 a.m. Arrive Pegasus Hotel and check in. Again. Different room. Unpack and collect stuff I left in storage. Shower. Coffee and a sandwich. Set up computer and write. Play computer games and lose. Only six shirts for seven days. Buy a tee-shirt. Buy two for my granddaughter. Write some more.

5:45 p.m. Down in lobby the West Indies boys arrive on their bus. I recognise David Bernard, the Jamaica player. He recognises me! Flattered, I chat and wish him the best [except against Ireland].

6:00 p.m. Red Stripes in the bar, and watch a TV review of the Premier League. Which is the more obnoxious? Sir Alex when the Red Scum haven't won, or Big Sam when his bunch of cloggers have pooped somebody's party? Eat. Getting a cold. Get an early night.

Tuesday 13th April:

6:00 a.m. Alarm goes off. Kill it.

6:45 a.m. Radio comes on blaring reggae. Eventually find the off button.

7:00 a.m. Alarm goes off again. Kill it again.

8:00 a.m. Breakfast with a filthy cold. Full of corporate types, all sharp clothes, mobiles stuck to their ears and faux bonhomie. Waiters swarm round them. Can't get a cup of tea until I growl at somebody.

9:00 a.m. Start working through Sunday's photos. I'm getting better.

1:00 p.m. Send off 40+ pictures to Barry Chambers.

2:00 p.m. Email from Barry saying my pictures are getting better. Runny nose beginning to ease up. Sit by the pool and read.

6:00 p.m. Beers. Eat. Go to bed very early to try to shake off this cold. 11:52 p.m. Wake up.

Wednesday 14th April:

0.08 a.m. Still awake.

6:00 a.m. Alarm goes off. Kill it.

6:45 a.m. Radio comes on blaring non-reggae. Find the off button at the second attempt.

7:00 a.m. Alarm goes off again. Kill it again.

8:00 a.m. Breakfast without a filthy cold. Really sweet waitress looks after me. Cheers me up no end.

9:00 a.m. Internet connection down. Read.

1:00 p.m. Ask reception for a cab to Sabina Park at 8:45 a.m. 'Mr Brown is available.' 'Yes, that'll be fine,' I hear myself say. Read all afternoon.

6:00 p.m. The cold hasn't gone away - it's gone to my chest. Beers. Eat. Go to bed early again in another attempt to lose the cold.

Thursday 15th April:

5:59 a.m. Lying ready to pounce on the alarm. 6:33 a.m. Text arrives. It's from my butcher in Leopardstown. He texts customers every Friday with details of special offers over the weekend. Friday? Don't tell me I slept all through Thursday and missed the bloody match! Triple check mobile, watch and travelling clock. It's definitely Thursday.

6:45 a.m. Wait for radio to come on. Kill it, shower and wait to kill second alarm before going down for breakfast. The W Indies boys have already had theirs.

8:45 a.m. Mr Brown arrives. 9:00 a.m. Sabina Park. Security won't let me anywhere near the Irish team. No pass. Go into the George Headley stand on the south side of the ground, opposite the dressing rooms and set up cameras.

9:30 a.m. Porty and Stirlo open against Rampaul and Bernard. Nothing to mark Porty's 100th cap. Porty chases one to second slip. Boatsy digs in. Stirlo plays some smashing shots and Boatsy chimes in with a couple of his own. Boatsy nicks off – 56-2 in the 12th over.

Nobbler battens the hatches, determined not to be undone by Benn. Rate drops to fours. Stirlo reaches 50 out of 100 in 25th over, then runs himself out for 51 in the 26th. Cusie not at the races, and is stumped off Deonarine in the 29th – 114-4.

Kev immediately looks good, and Nobbler comes out of his shell. A cover drive in the 33rd over yields the first boundary for a long time. Nobbler can't get off 49 and slogs Miller down mid wicket's throat. Gary Wilson doesn't know whether to twist or stick, but folds instead.

Kev now playing really well, hitting more than occasional boundaries, and Whitey joins in the fun to get the rate above fours. Whitey falls in 47th. Kev dumps Rampaul over the square rope and is then bowled. 216-8 in the 48th. TJ and Dockers both bowled. 219 in 50.

1:30 p.m. Peter Connell gets Chanderpaul at second slip in his first over and TJ repeats the trick to account for Fletcher in his first. Starts to spit with rain. Umps call a halt in 6th over with score on 9-2. Tarps quickly on.

2:50 p.m. Play resumes as W Indies grind to 23-2 off 12. Main (electronic) scoreboard doesn't show target or reduction in overs. I work out that it's 213 to win in 45, then notice that manual scoreboard has it right. Kev replaces Connell and concedes a boundary. Sarwan decides TJ has to go, gets away with a slog over mid on, then plays two class shots.

Hinds straight drives Dockers for 6 in his first over, but Gorgeous George sticks to his task and holds onto a return catch in his second over – 56-3 in 18th over. After 20 overs it's 63-3, 25 behind on D/L. Rain still lurking. Stop lurking: chuck it down!

Deonarine gets after Dockers. Replaced by Cusie, but by 25 overs they've caught up on D/L and by 30 they're way ahead. TJ bowled out and takes some stick from Deonarine. Stirlo given an over, and Deonarine whacks him straight to Cusie at long on. Catch taken with Cusie's toe well inside the rope and his heel over it but raised well above it. The crowd behind him can't see that, and with all the fair-mindedness of some Donemana fans after tea, they shout, rage and get very angry. Most are schoolchildren.

Darren Bravo tries to slog Stirlo over Connell at mid on. The catch is taken at full stretch, but spills out as Peter hits the deck. Camera refuses to shoot at high shutter speed because it's too dark. Bravo eventually hits Stirlo for 6 in the 41st over, Sarwan completes a fine ton in the 42nd. Umpires confer, presumably about light. Another 6 for Bravo in the 43rd, and the winning run off the last ball of the 44th. Fantastic effort by Ireland.

6:00 p.m. Meet Mr Brown and taken back to the hotel. Any chance of a discount for a regular customer? Two chances: none and forget it.

6:30 p.m. Shower and change.

6:45 p.m. Beers.

7:30 p.m. Bottle of wine to room and write all evening

Friday 16th April: 6:00 – 7:00 a.m. OK, you know all about the alarms and radios. So do I.

8:00 a.m. Breakfast.

8:30 - 11:50 a.m. Get working on photos.

11:50 a.m. Phone rings. Lift phone. Nothing, Keeps ringing. Stops ringing. Phone front desk. Nothing. Go down to front desk. Did I get a call? Checks. Yes. From whom? Don't know. Text from Ian Callender. Where the **** are you? In my ****ing room! Where the **** else would I be?

12:10 – 6:00 p.m. Keep working on photos.

6:00 – 8:00 p.m. Beers. Meal. Plan to go back up to room with bottle of wine. Ian Callender walks into restaurant. Why didn't you reply to my text? I did. Oh! Didn't get it. We (Ian, Roy Torrens, Basil McNamee) are in the bar.

8:00 – 10:30 p.m. Nice little session in bar. Did I know about the aviation crisis in northern Europe? No – never ever turn the telly on when I'm away [don't know which buttons to press!].

Saturday 17th April:

6:00 a.m. Am glad of the alarm. Down to my last three shirts: two singlets and the T-shirt I bought. Wear grey singlet.

7:30 a.m. Breakfast. Waitress, 14 going 40, tells me that bare shoulders are not allowed in the dining area. Explain that I don't have anything else. She takes sympathy and serves me bacon and egg.

8:00 – 10:30 a.m. Do the work on photos I should gave done last night.

10:30 – 10:45 a.m. Buy two more shirts: one polo, one T. Bump into Mr Brown. 12:30? No – 12:00. Oh. He obviously has another job. I'll be there at 11:50. Smile. Presumably fits in with his other job.

10:45 – 11:50 a.m. Finish photos and email them. I'm still getting better.

11:50 a.m. Mr Brown drops me at Sabina Park. 6? No, 5. 6! No, 5. OK. 5:30. Smiles. Now I fit in with his other job.

1:00 p.m. No idea who won the toss. Ireland in the field. Chanderpaul goes for it, and gets away with it. Still, 43-1 off 6 is OK. 69-1 off 10 is OK. Keep them to 140, 150 max, and that's chaseable. Gary Kidd gets plenty of stick. Shiv gets to 50 off 42. Hinds starting to catch him up. Shiv can't clear John Boy. Sarwan straight six off Boatsy. Hinds bowled by Cusie for 45. Final three overs yield 31 to take them to 171-7. Just as well the fielding was first rate.

2:55 p.m. Whatever happened to 75 minutes an innings and five minutes between innings? Doesn't give the crowd enough time to get drunk? Porty and Stirlo set off like a train. Porty caught behind for 17 out of 38 in 5th over. Nobbler immediately finds boundary. Stirlo 4, 6. 61-1 off 6. Eighth over, bowled by Sammy, contains three dots, just when we thought they were an endangered species. Nobbler hits first ball of ninth for 6. Two dots. Stirlo comes racing down from non-striker's end, but beaten by Shiv's direct hit for 33 off 19. Great knock – stupid finish.

Nobbler still fluent, but Cusie can't get going. Nobbler reaches 50 off 34 in 15th over. 52 needed off last 5. Cusie c&b Miller. Can Ginger's boys do it? Nobbler well held by Sarwan for 62. John Boy 4 and out. 24 needed off last over, bowled by Big Benn, Gary Wilson on strike. Dot. Dot. Stumped. Nigel bowled. Wide! Boatsy trademark 4 through point. Dot. Another great effort – we're getting closer.

4:45 p.m. Wait outside ground for Mr Brown.

5:15 p.m. Security say cheeerio to me as they go home.

5:20 p.m. Bus comes to collect the Red Stripes (the police, not the beers).

5:45 p.m. Drinks vendor outside ground says her son has come to collect her, and will happily drive me to the hotel. Tempted, but decline her kind offer.

5:50 p.m. Mr Brown arrives. Not a word of apology. Try to tell him off, but he turns on the radio.

6:15 p.m. Shower.

6:30 p.m. Put on very smart 'Usain Bolt' polo shirt. Beers. Cold still putting me off food. Pick at stir-fry shrimps. Bottle of wine up to room. Write. Listen to Chieftans, Chris Farlow (1960s English blues singer), Christy Moore. Beautiful version of Ewan McColl's 'The first time ever I saw your face'. My favourite version is still that by Peggy Seeger, for whom it was written. Clannad. The Clash. Dire Straits. Fall asleep to Django Reinhardt and Stephane Grappelly.

9:00 a.m. Breakfast with shoulders covered. Shiv Chanderpaul comes down at 9:20. Mustn't be playing today.

10:00 a.m. Change into singlet. Download yesterday's photos. No time to edit them. Potter.

12 noon. Mr Brown takes me to Sabina Park through a light but persistent drizzle. Don't set up cameras, but watch the crowd arrive. Different goon on the microphone, talking and singing over the disco – at least he can sing in tune.

1:00 p.m. It's trying to stop raining. Covers taken half off. Three Chinese girls in Windies singlets set up in the next bay. Long-established Chinese community in Kingston. Two of them are typical southern Chinese: small fat round faces; small fat round everything else. The other has a skinny btm and a fine pair of lungs.

2:00 p.m. Rain gets heavy again. Tarps quickly on.

2:05 p.m. Egret arrives.

2:15 p.m. Another egret.

2:18 p.m. Now there are four egrets.

2:30 p.m. Rain stopped, but still low cloud and mist on the hill behind the north stand. To answer the query on the forum about crowd size, nobody goes in the north stand because unless you're in the covered posh seats or in an air-conditioned box, you're in the sun. The south (George Headley) stand is mainly in shade. That's where I am, taking pictures with the empty north stand as a backdrop. Goon with mike begins to work through the crowd. Music blaring. Three egrets fly off. The fourth must be deaf.

2:40 p.m. The match will now be reduced, initially to 15 overs if a start is made no later than 3:40. Tarps off. Pitch rolled and marked. Rope trailed round outfield.

2:45 p.m. Goon now with Chinese girls. The one with the skinny btm says she's shy. I bet! Wins a T-shirt all the same. Will fill it well.

2:50 p.m. Oh, no! Goon talking to me. I'm replying. Name two Jamaican entertainers. Bob Marley. I wonder is it Jimmy Page or Jimmy Cliff that's Jamaican? Tempted to say Jimmy Adams. Got it. Desmond Dekker! Goon is astounded that I'm so old that I can remember him. Win cap and a bag. More goodies for the granddaughter.

3:00 p.m. Match will start at 3:30. Sun tries to come out. Set up cameras. 3:30 p.m. Match starts. No announcement of toss or teams. Can't see Gary Wilson. Oh, he's keeping wicket. Where's Nobbler? Ah, there: heard him before I saw him. No Boatsy. Left-armers on drinks fatigues. Electronic scoreboard not working. Sponsor's pennant obscuring the manual board. Porty throws down the bowler's end wicket to run out Shiv. Great start. Fletcher likes a drive, Hinds like a pull. Fletcher caught by Porty. Cusie almost decapitated by Hinds. 55-2 off 8 is not too bad.

Sarwan takes on Stirlo. They both launch at Kev and then Nigel's second over. 95-2 off 11. Cusie brings it back and gets rid of Sarwan. 121-3 off 13. TJ takes catch of the century to dismiss Hinds. Really good comeback. Sammy and Deonarine blitz 31 off last eleven balls. Crowd loving it. Try to phone Mr Brown, but can't hear anything for the din. Text to tell him 6 o' clock pick-up.

4:45 p.m. Now a beautiful sunlit evening. Porty dumps Benn's first ball over the rope and under the scoreboard, which is now working. Stirlo swings Rampaul over Chanderpaul at short fine leg. Whatever Shiv had for breakfast, it worked, because he scampers back to complete a fine catch. Porty really going for it. Nobbler crashes a 4. Nobbler out for 9. Kev bangs a four. Porty's luck runs out in the 6th over, but 25 off 18 is the right tempo.

Kev and TJ keep the big shots coming. Kev out, but my pace notes show us ahead of them right up to 11 overs. Nigel hits a monster six into the scoreboard. The boundaries keep coming, but not off Bernard. Nigel caught by Shiv – 21 off 18. TJ well held by Sammy – 39 off 20 - really good knock. 28 needed off the last over. John Boy straight six! Benn hides the next four balls, quite a trick from nine feet up. Lose by 16. Again, nearly but not quite.

5:55 p.m. Mr Brown drives me back to the hotel.

6:20 p.m. Shower. Don golden 'Usain Bolt' T-shirt. Beers. Food. Chat to Ian Ramage, Scottish umpire who did the 50-over ODIs. He's stuck here. Join him and his partner for an hour in the bar. Bottle of wine up to room to write reports. Remember to borrow phone charger from reception. Remember to plug phone in to charger. Drink wine. Write nothing.

Monday 19th April:

8:00 a.m. Is that my phone ringing? Travel agent. Do I want to go to Trinidad with the team? No thanks, I'll fly back from here.

8:15 a.m. Travel agent again. He's looking at a flight out of Montego Bay on the 27th. OK.

8:30 a.m. Go down to reception, pay bar bill and book in for another week. The cheap (= less expensive) rate I got three weeks ago is off, love. Breakfast.

9:30 a.m. Travel agent again. Lost the flight on the 27th. Confirmed flight out of Montego Bay on May 1st. Great!?!?

9:45 a.m. Phone War Office at work. Can't get through.

9:50 a.m. Phone daughter in South Carolina. She hopes her flight to London on Wednesday will be OK.

9:55 a.m. Check credit. Ä0.57! Email War Office.

10:00 a.m. Start writing.

2:00 p.m. Text message from other daughter in Dublin. She's put Ä50 credit on my phone. It's nice to have smart kids.

3:30 p.m. War Office phones. Have I got enough of my prescription drugs to last until May 1st? Not of everything, but of the really important one, yes.

Mafeking relieved.

Friday 30th April: 7:30 a.m. Get up after two alarms but no radio

7:45 a.m. Breakfast. There are three groups of resident in the Pegasus: holidaymakers, many of whom, like me, have been stranded by the volcanic ash; relief workers en route back to Blighty from Haiti; and business 'executives'. The first two groups behave perfectly normally, talking to each other about things they find mutually interesting, or the weather. Well, except for the occasional 'aid couple' who come down ten minutes apart and pretend they've only just met: they've obviously been bonking all night. I've been through that movie myself, although it was in black-and-white

The business types are hilarious: they talk rubbish and keep touching each other. A very tall, attractive and shapely Jamaican lady came in and was immediately surrounded by a short, ugly Yank. He placed his hand on her 'lower back' and guided her to a seat. Her look said she wanted to deck him.

9:00 a.m. Call from travel agent: Air Jamaica are not going on strike – I can go home tomorrow! Email and text wife and daughter in Dublin. Receive call from now-ex-son-in-law: I apologise for missing the divorce hearing in Nantes earlier in the week due to circumstances beyond my control

10:00 a.m. Go down to pool and read. Gosh, a couple of the female aid workers really are very fit

1:00 p.m. Clouds over. Go up to room and watch Sri Lanka v NZ. Sri Lanka should be very disappointed with 136. NZ scrape home

3:30 p.m. Shower, change and settle down for the match

3:45 p.m. Radio comes on in Spanish. Music quite good. Cuba? Dominican Republic? Puerto Rico? Hit nada button

4:00 p.m. Gayle not playing: stiff neck. That's what happens when you suck the Viagra instead of swallowing it quickly

4:45 p.m. W Indies 76-2 off 11 looks ominous

4:55 p.m. W Indies 83-5 off 13 looks an awful lot better

5:05 p.m. W Indies 93-6 off 16 looks really good. Great stuff, Dockers: 4-0-16-3!

5:13 p.m. W Indies 125-6 off 18. I know the ball is greasy, but can we not cut out the two appallingly bad overs?n5:25 p.m. W Indies 138-9 off 20. Chaseable, but under lights with dew around, I think it's 20 too many

5:40 p.m. Go down to bar and crow

6:00 p.m. 12-3 when rsp after 2.3 overs. Have long since stopped crowing. Jamaican goverment films come on, showing ministers (overdressed) solving problems that in fact are being dealt with by competent professionals (some of whom who would look even better if they were more underdressed).

6:30 p.m. Play resumes.

6:50 p.m. 41-5 after 9. Oh dear! Trent and Gary show some fight.

7:00 p.m. 52-5 after 11.1. Cut to Prime Time News. Air Jamaica workers call off strike. Teachers decide to strike next week. Lots of footage from parliament. Jamaican politicians are much better dressed than Irish T.D.s and M.P.s. Classier suits. Better colour co-ordination. But a gobdaw in a suit, no matter how well cut, is still a gobdaw.

7:30 p.m. Business news. No mention of a result from Providence.

7:40 p.m. Sports news. Still no mention of a result. Don't tell me we've emulated Lazarus! Football. U-16 football

7:45 p.m. New athletics track opened by obese minister, who waddles a token 10m. Highlights from unspecified track meeting, including interviews with unnamed winners. Still no result. We have, you know, or they're bound to have mentioned it by now

7:50 p.m. Netball

7:52 p.m. Synchronised swimming

7:54 p.m. Schools cricket. We must have, or it would have been top of the bill. Wonderful!

7:56 p.m. The briefest of brief highlights. Ireland all out 68. We didn't do it

7:57 p.m. Highlights of Sri Lanka v NZ

7:59 p.m. Ads. But why on earth didn't they lead with the W Indies win? Ah, yes, got it: there wasn't a Jamaican player on the W Indies XI. Can you imagine a national broadcaster being so bloody parochial? Answers on a postcard to Montrose studios, Donnybrook, Dublin 4.

I had decided to have a second division weekend, in part because there was only Dublin University v Cork County on offer on Sunday, and in part because I wanted to see the new ground at Oak Hill, which on Saturday was hosting Pembroke v Terenure.

So I drove down to Oak Hill, forgoing a visit to Kilmacarrow to photograph the rhododendrons in flower because it was quite cloudy. The ground is a superb facility: there's a bit of a slope up from north to south; the dimensions are good – a bit wider and shorter than Rathmines; and the pitch looked really good.

Pembroke put Terenure in and must have been wondering about the wisdom of that decision as Kenny McDonald tore into Allan Eastwood, driving the overpitched stuff and pulling the shorter deliveries. Barry McCarthy suffered less, and made the early breakthrough when McDonald pulled one that wasn't there for the shot straight to Eastwood at square leg.

McDonald had made 26 out of 29. Colm Morgan had the other three, and didn't add before he nicked off Eastwood on the same score. Donal Vaughan settled in carefully while Nathan Carroll took a more aggressive approach and survived a slip chance.

The score had moved on to 48 when McCarthy pushed a ball past Carroll, and it flicked something as it made its way into Graham McCoy's gloves. Mucker had received a full operatic training in his time at Claremont Road, and led the Sydney Parade male voice choir in an appeal. The decisive digit was duly raised and, before departing, Carroll paused to work out how he could have been lbw.

This brought in Samun Das, and he played very neatly as the 'Broke's seamers gave way to their leggies, Steven Moreton bowling a nice tight line and length while Andy Leonard gave the ball more air. Drinks were taken at 91-3, and in the 27th over Das lost concentration and was very neatly stumped off Leonard for 30.

Darren Nicol came in and played two excellent shots for 4 and 6 and was then victim to the craziest law in cricket, the one that says that if you're hit on the full the umpire has to assume that the ball will go straight on, even if the bowler is turning them square, which Leonard was. Clive Colleran considered the geometry to be in Leonard's favour and out came Mr Chung.

The 'Broke were now in their noisy element, with plenty of oohs and aahs as Vaughan was dropped and should have been stumped before McCoy did stump him for 32 out of 129, a far more difficult chance than the one he'd just missed.

Moreton had finished his spell of ten overs for 28, and the returning Eastwood had Mott caught behind for 13, the score still on 129. Michael Launders worked the ball around while Niall McDarby took to the skies. He was quickly and expertly caught off Leonard by Bill Whaley.

Saneer and Ben Hoey failed to keep Launders company for very long, although Hoey did produce a boundary to fine third man, whether from an edge or a very late cut I'm not sure. Both were bowled by Paul Lawson as Terenure were all out for 159 in 47 overs, Launders on 17*.

Leonard will bowl better and return worse figures than 4/27, but a Guildford is a Four-for all the same. McCarthy's 2/27 was a fine piece of bowling. Eastwood took 2/37 and Lawson 2/11. There were only four wides.

After tea in the lovely pavilion, a replica of the one at Ampleforth School, Pembroke started their pursuit of 160. Mott bowled a lively left-arm over the wicket, trying to bring it back into the right-hander. He looked to have done that in the first over, but either it didn't swing back enough or it swung too much, because Mr Chung wouldn't come out to play.

A very experienced, though partial, observer who was standing in line thought it was out. So did cover, gully and mid wicket, because on that occasion and two others in the first over they came racing in screaming and shouting when the ball hit the pad, and joined the bowler, keeper and slips in full tea pot mode followed by the mandatory Aah? when it was given not out.

The beneficiary, Theo Lawson, was soon out, caught by Nicol off Mott, and on 25 was joined back in the pavilion by Rohit Bahl, caught behind for 14 off the left-armer. Bahl had looked well-organised, and Moreton, at no. 3, looked equally competent, following the advice said to be given to Julius Caesar of festina lente.

He played four excellent overs from Launders without scoring (there was just one wide) while Ryan Hopkins at the other end tucked into the pies offered by Saneer, Hoey, Carroll and Das. Very curiously, when Hopkins was due to face Launders for the first time, the Tallaght Tornado was withdrawn from the attack.

Hopkins had carved his way to 50 with some fine shots, the vast majority of which were played to leg off straight balls. His repertoire doesn't extend to shots to balls pitching outside off stump, precisely where Launders was bowling.

With Hopkins on 60, having survived a straightforward chance to McDarby, and the score on 102, Carroll bowled one outside off which Hopkins chased down the keeper's throat.

Barry McCarthy came in and helped an increasingly fluent Moreton to add 43, when Mott did get the required response from the umpire to have Moreton lbw for 39. The sight of Brian O'Rourke coming to the wicket gave McCarthy the prompt he needed to play a couple of neat shots to bring victory off the first ball of the 32nd over.

He finished on 17*, Brian sped to 4*, Mott finished with 3/44 off his 10, and there were 6 no balls and 16 wides. Without Plates Brennan (stuck in Fort Lauderdale but following the match via my Tweets) there was little support for Mott and Launders to put pressure on Pembroke's batsmen.

The 'Broke look a competent unit, and I will be surprised if they finish outside the top two. Fortunately for the 'Nure, they would have to be a lot worse than they already are to finish in the bottom two.

Sunday saw me in College Park for what I had presumed would be the last time in 2010. University won the toss and asked Cork County to bat. The plan appeared to be working when Andy Whooton was bowled for a duck by Amir Anwar and County skipper Robert Duggan bowled for four by Anish Raghavan. That was 14-2 in six overs.

Mirza Baig and Bruce Koch got their nuts down and saw off decent spells from Amir and Anish. Then they faced the University back-up bowling which is worse than the Leinster 3 attack which donated 100 to the Railway 3 lower order that I had watched after I got back to Rathmines from Oak Hill.

Elaine Page isn't too bad, and Shah-wadywady has his moments (far too few of them), but Sally Gunnell should stick to hurdling. They might be all right against plonkers, but having watched them being milked by two proper batsmen, Dan van Man and Tipu Sultan, a couple of weeks ago, it was deja vu all over again as Baig and Koch helped themselves.

Bruce loves a drive and will gleefully whack anything short. Baig worked the ball neatly and hit the very frequent bad ball. Koch was quickly past 50, and Baig couldn't believe his luck as Sally served up successive half-trackers that disappeared towards Nassau Street.

Now on 48 he received a full toss which should have followed the trajectories of the previous two but in his excitement he missed the ball and watched it land on the full at the base of middle stump. On 117-3, in came the young left-hander, Chris Banon, and he sensibly fed Bruce the strike as he got his bearings.

Koch had a let-off when he was dropped on 73, but he and Banon rushed the score past 200. Eoghan Delany tried himself for an over, but that went for 17. Banon started to get his straight drive going, and there was one moment of hilarity when deep mid on and deep mid off converged on such a hit, collided with each other and lay sprawled on the grass watching the ball crossing the boundary.

Amir returned to finish his ten, and in between bowling two deliveries that went for 5 wides he bowled Banon for 43 to make it 233-4. Koch reached his century with an extra cover drive and was almost immediately very well caught and bowled by Anish for 103.

County finished on 265-7 off their 50 overs having added 78 off the last ten. In all, there were 54 extras, 42 of them wides. University just about got through their overs in the required time. Amir took 3/35, about 15 of which were wides, Anish 3/47 and Page 0/40.

It didn't take long for Richard Forrest to be run out for 10 – he and his father blamed Carl Hosford – but Page and Hosford moved to 42 in the 9th over. Then left-armer Keith Banks got one to pitch on the stumps and through Hosford's defence to have him lbw for 12, and next over Page slogged the other left-armer, James Duggan, to Baig at extra cover.

Unless Delany scored a big ton there was no coming back from 42-3. Tom Bouch battled for 14 before succumbing to Banksy's thinly-disguised straight one – 77-4 – and Amir helped his skipper past 100 and into the 120s. Banks had bowled out (2/36), and after an inconsistent first over, Koch had settled into a nice line and pitching just short of a length.

He got one to rear up on Amir and whack him on the glove. He didn't know where he was or what the phase of the moon was, and he stayed put as Delany called him for an easy single. Deller gone for 41, Dickinson without scoring and then Amir fell for 20 to an excellent return catch by Koch.

But at 130-7, the fat lady was prevented from singing by Chris Minch and Anish. I called for the spirit of the late, great, Liam Keegan to put them out of their misery as they consumed over upon over to no effect. After what seemed like an hour, but was only seven overs, Minch was bowled by Robert Duggan.

Anish ran himself out, Sally hurdled over a straight one from Koch and it was all over, Dublin University 142 off 38.4 overs. Koch finished with 2/13 off 9.4 overs. There were 19 wides, most of them from Andy Whooton, who swung it a mile away from the bat when it pitched outside off, but carried on straight as a die when it pitched middle!

I would have loved to have traded pints with Peter Dineen, but I'd had to be poured home (again!) the previous night, so I stayed totally T until much later in the evening, when the Montepulciano was broached.

After what I thought was my final visit to College Park, imagine my horror when I read in the LCU handbook that it's the venue of the LHW Senior Cup Final. Which flock of turkeys dreamed that one up? I umpired the last Interpro held there, and it was an organisational disaster!

I can only assume that the LCU have sold the TV rights to Sinatra Sports so we can all watch it in the comfort of our own homes. Because we'll never all get into Trinity, and if we do it will be full of the usual Monster Raving Looneys who clutter up the place.

I've just had a thought. Like most other things in the Handbook, that piece of information is wrong. So, please tell me, where is the Final?

It was that sort of weekend: nothing was exactly as it seemed. I dragged the wife (mine, of course) out of bed and asked her to drive me down to Rathmines so I could spend the day watching Leinster v YMCA.

She agreed, because it meant she'd be able to indulge in her normal bout of oral sex with Alan Lewis (talking about it – what did you think I meant?). But when we got to the 'Mines we discovered that Lewie wasn't playing, and that we were an hour early – starts are now 1 p.m!

So while we watched the U11Bs strut their stuff, I discovered that other absentees would include Rob Nandi for YM and George Dockrell and Craig Mallon for Leinster. Reinhardt Strydom won the toss for YM and had no hesitation in making first use of a decent looking deck.

He and James Shortt negotiated the first few overs from Carlos Brathwaite and Will Lennon until Will got one to fizz past Rainy's outside edge. There was a noise, and up went Jim McGeehan's finger, but Rainy wasn't a happy camper when he arrived back to the pavilion.

Next over Shortt played a cracking shot past Peter Byrne's left hand at point, but when he attempted an encore it flew up in the air straight to Byrne. 16-2 became 16-3 when Etesham Ahmed nicked off but, again, Shammy wasn't best pleased with John Andrews's decision-making when he arrived back in the hutch.

On 21, Simon Wilson-Moore nicked Brathwaite through to Andy McConnell behind the stumps, and YM were very deep in the doo-dah. Paul Beacroft and Sean Macauley dug in, and latched on to some loose stuff in the ninth and tenth overs.

Peter Byrne replaced Lennon and then Mark Kelly had a go from the Mount Pleasant Avenue end. The score still rattled along as Beekers and Macauley went for their shots, reaching 65-4 at the end of the 15-over power play.

But in the 16th over Byrne induced Beacroft (22) to slog the ball straight to Anton Scholtz at mid wicket, and in the 17th Kelly, who is all shoulder action with his medium pacers, bowled Macauley for a 28 that included some fine shots.

71-6 was end-of-story, gates, all-over-Rover, put it how you like. Matthew Quirke was very neatly stumped by McConnell down the leg side off Byrne, James Parkinson had a whack at Kelly and holed out to Rob Miley, and Steven Walsh was lbw to Byrne.

Carlos Brathwaite came back to bag a bunny, which he would have done if Mark Jones had hung on to an edge from Lee Cole to slip. Jonesey grassed it, and Cole reckoned he'd have a single. Jonesey is not as green as he's cabbage-looking, grabbed the ball and relayed it to Brathwaite, who threw down the stumps.

YMCA were 92 all out in 22.4 overs, Brathwaite taking 3/32, Lennon 1/20, Byrne 3/20 and Kelly 2/17. There was a glimmer when Jones was bowled for 1 in Strydom's first over but, thereafter, although he and Parkinson did beat the bat a couple of times, Brathwaite and JP O'Dwyer settled in and began to play their shots.

Carlos started to walk down the wicket and loft Strydom straight, JP tucked into some loose stuff, and after 13 overs Jonny Harte had a dart from the Mount Pleasant Avenue end. Brathwaite's eyes lit up, a couple of boundaries followed but on 38 he skied one to Strydom.

Anton Scholtz (4*) kept JP (48*) company as the end was reached with a boundary off Macauley half way through the 18th over. Tea was taken after the match, and then we all settled down for a long, hard night in the bar with little to talk about and no Lewie for a bit of chirp. Seasoned campaigners that we are, we managed.

Bushy-eyed and bright-tailed after steak, egg, mushroom and chips, I drove the next morning out to Milverton. The sky was blue and the ground looked a treat. The groundsman, too, was looking well, cheered by the news that he could watch his son bat after Joseph Clinton had won the toss.

While Ajaz Faroqi busied himself with little nudges, tucks and drives, Mark Dwyer was in the horrors, not knowing whether to stick or twist, playing ugly swishes to balls going down leg that should just have been nurdled for a single.

He was dropped on 10, dropped on 12 behind the wicket, and dropped again on 20. Meantime, Ajaz had sped to 48 and instead of putting a short wide ball away to reach 50, he steered it to Saadaf Raza at backward point to make it 80-1.

Raza had been putting in a good spell from the pavilion end with his leg breaks, but Chawla, Dutt and Sharma couldn't exercise any control from the Blackhills end. Dwyer had by now excised his demons and was keeping it very straight and simple, as advised by father.

Rob Byrne made a breezy 17 before being stumped off Sameer Dutt, and Steven Archer made a complete town halls of Raza's wrong 'un (wrong for Steven, anyway) and lobbed it to the keeper. That was 111-3, the dreaded Nelson striking again.

As Joseph Clinton worked the ball around, Dwyer began to pick up the pace, and reached his 50 out of 131 in the 31st over. Raza had finished his spell, 1/27, and the bowling became increasingly ragged. Clinton started picking the ball off the stumps into the beech trees, and Dwyer was finding the straight boundaries.

By 40 overs the score had reached 206, and in the 44th Clinton holed out for 42 then Dwyer reached his hundred out of 224. His merry little jig told the story of zero to hero. The rest was carnage. Mal Byrne hit 23, Nadim 11 and Dwyer another 31 as 300 was reached at the end of 50 overs for the loss of eight wickets.

Richie O'Donnell claimed some late wickets to finish with 3/45 off 8 but, Raza apart, the bowling had been poor to awful and, Simmi Singh apart, the fielding was woefully sub-standard although never lacking in enthusiasm.

If Belvo were going to chase 300, they would need everything going for them. That didn't happen. Simmi Singh played Mal Byrne nicely through the covers. There was an easy two but Saadaf Raza ran himself out by the length of the pitch, 0 without facing a ball.

Syed Ali put bat to ball, and when Vipal Garcya replaced Mal Byrne and dropped one short, Ali, 14 pulled it high over square leg. Mal Byrne ran back and took an excellent catch over his shoulder. Sameer Dutt joined Singh and the pair put on 29 quite quickly.

Then the right-handed Dutt, 16, edged Nadim low between the right-handed Mark Dwyer, keeping wicket, and the left-handed Matt Dwyer at first slip. While the son froze, the old man was quickly down to hold on to a screamer.

Srikkanth Sharma helped Singh put on another 25 without incident until Singh, 29, edged Nadim low to Matt Dwyer who stooped (slipped?) and hung on to the ball. Catches win matches, but the old man was in a hurry for a post-match pint, so he came on himself (I presume the skipper had agreed).

He removed Dar and I Singh with the aid of catches, saw Gopal Singh bowled by Manu Kumar, then bowled Chawla and caught and bowled Asad. But he had to be satisfied with a Guildford when Joseph Clinton caught Sharma off Darren Byrne for a fighting 59.

Old Belvedere had scored 165 off 40 overs, The Hills 2 donating 26 in wides. Himself finished on 8-1-18-4. The pint was waiting. Belvo have some useful players but as a unit are a mess; The Hills 2 have some useful players and, on Sunday, were a co-ordinated unit. If they stay like that they'll be pushing for a promotion slot.

What will the LCU goons do then? Of course, promote Dublin University!

On Saturday I watched the rain at home, watched the rain as I drove round the M50 to Malahide, watched the rain at Malahide, heard that they'd pulled the plug at Milverton and would play tomorrow, had a nice lunch and drove home via Park Avenue, where they'd also pulled the plug.

I never thought to go up the road to Rush, and consequently missed a great afternoon's entertainment, and certainly never thought to go to Cabra. Well, you wouldn't, would you? Instead, I had roast lamb, and watched Ireland finish two places above the UK in the Eurovision.

Next morning I turned up nice and early in Milverton, and enjoyed several of Eimear Kitteringham's jam and cream scones. Leinster had won the toss, and sent Carlos Brathwaite and Mark Jones out to face Max Sorensen and Naseer Shoukat.

After an uneventful few overs, Brathwaite played down the wrong line to Naseer and was bowled for 12. JP O'Dwyer settled in immediately, whereas Jonesey was scatching around like some auld one. Finally, he played a cracking square cut off Naseer, trebling his score.

Then he went to on-drive a full length delivery and skewed it high and wide of slip. Jeremy Bray spread his tall frame and took a fine catch to make it 36-2. Anton Scholtz was his fluent self, working the ball into spaces on the leg side. Meanwhile, JP had stopped scoring.

Anxious to give the strike to Scholtz, he played the ball to leg and called the single. He failed to beat Sorensen's throw, run out for 15, and Leinster were 68-3 due entirely to their own carelessness. George Dockrell played straight as his captain made his merry way to 50 out of 134.

Then Scholtz wafted at van der Merwe, nicking the ball to Peter O'Donnell behind the stumps. Craig Mallon and Dockrell restricted themselves to singles, before Mallon was lbw to Sorensen for 14 in the 45th over with the score on 158.

With the best batting of the innings, Mark Kelly and Dockrell picked up the scoring rate playing proper shots and without taking any risks. Into the last few overs, they did start chancing their arms. Dockrell was missed on 68 and 74, tough chances, but ones that you'd expect to be taken.

In the 57th over, Kelly was bowled by Sorensen for a fine 39, Lennon followed quickly, bowled by Naseer, and in Sorensen's last over Dockrell sped into and through the nineties with successive fours to reach 97. He could easily have made sure of three singles, but unselfishly went to heave Sorensen over mid wicket and was bowled.

Andy McConnell and Hugh McDonnell took what was on offer to move Leinster to 261-8 at the close of the 60th over. The Hills bowling had kept its discipline, conceding only 10 wides and a no ball. Sorensen was very good for his 3/38, and Naseer's figures of 3/59 were dented by the late hitting.

The general feeling was that The Hills should get that score if they batted properly. Helped by plenty of wides and other sundries, they had got to 35 in the 8th over when Jeremy Bray drove at a widish delivery from Will Lennon, and was pouched by Scholtz at second slip for 10.

Skipper Mike Baumgart scored quickly while a more subdued Albert van der Merwe made his way to 18 out of 64. Brathwaite returned for a second spell after a disappointing first three overs, and immediately had the tall, South African-born, all rounder taken at slip, again by Scholtz.

Naseer helped some pies to and over the boundary to reach 17, when he played forward to Lennon and was given out lbw, much to his surprise. The runs dried up, and Lennon struck again to have Baumgart caught at mid wicket by McDonnell for 24, and at 105-4 in the 24th over, The Hills were making a mess of their chase.

Sorensen and Darryl Calder added only seven more runs in the next six overs. They ground their way to 151 in the 39th over in the teeth of a fine spell of medium pace from Kelly and a much improved second spell from Dockrell. Brathwaite's third spell induced a nick from Calder (13), parried by Jones and grabbed by Scholtz.

Mark Dwyer began his innings as he had begun his previous week's ton – badly. Then, he was dropped three times, but this time he wasn't, caught by JP of Dockrell for 6. Corporal Jones could be heard shouting 'Don't panic!' as Joseph Clinton ran himself out for 3 and Mal Byrne wafted Dockers to Lennon for a blob.

The Hills were 169-8 in the 46th over and, although Sorensen was still there and beginning to play the odd shot, the match was Leinster's to lose. Just keep The Hills below the required seven a over, and they'd have to start taking more and more risks.

So what did they do? They provided at least one wide and one four ball nearly every over. Neither Hugh McDonnell (8-1-28-0) nor Mark Kelly (10-0-26-0) was brought back. Only Dockrell's last over and Brathwaite's tenth and twelfth went for less than six.

OK, Max and 'George' O'Donnell had to put away the half volleys and half trackers, but the only reason they wouldn't do that was reaction to the required chiropractice after chasing the wides. Finally, Brathwaite trapped Sorensen plumb in front for 83 in the 59th over. Luke Clinton, not the world's worst tail-end Charlie, blocked out the rest of the over.

That left seven needed off the last over. It contained the mandatory wide and the regulation four-ball, gleefully thumped to the straight boundary for the winning hit by George O'Donnell (42*). The Hills had kept their nerve, taken their freebies, and won.

Brathwaite took 3/45, Lennon 3/43 and Dockrell 2/42. Had any of them been anywhere near their best, Leinster would be in the second round draw. Had all three of them bowled just to their ability, The Hills would not have been travelling to Clontarf to avenge last week's league defeat. (Sorry, Phoenix, but you're not good enough to beat 'Tarf.)nnIt was around the M50 again on Monday afternoon, this time to the N3 junction and from the leafy Castleknock to the greener than green Cabra. Terenure were 102-2 off 21 in pursuit of the 256 all out made by Old Belvedere.

Umpire Peter Thew asked Belvo to cut the pitch before they marked it, but they didn't have the key to the shed, and so the mower was off, love. But 155 off 39 overs was not impossible, even on a green track.

It seemed much more possible when Nathan Carroll whacked Richie O'Donnell to the boundary in the evening's first over. A single brought Sumar Das (35) onto strike. O'Donnell brought one back through the gate and through to Syed Ali behind the stumps.

The appeal was answered, eventually, in the affimative by Inge Bevers, and off trooped Das, a distinctly unhappy bunny. A much later post mortem with the non-striker revealed the unhappiness to be unfounded.

A couple of meaty boundaries from Carroll followed, then pro Shane Mott played and missed at Chawla (the Terenure version of events), but had to depart caught behind for a duck (the official version of events). 118-4 became 119-5 when Nicol was bowled by O'Donnell for another duck.

Carroll continued his assault on the Belvo bowlers, aided by the Tallaght Tornado, Michael Launders. It was still game on after 30 overs, the 'Nure needing 103, a shoo-in if they could keep wickets intact. But they couldn't.

Sameer Dutt got one to find TT's outside edge, and Simmi Singh took a sharp catch at slip. Next over, Carroll steered a long hop from Saadaf Raza to the same Singh at short third man for a very fine 83. John Hoey made a nuisance of himself, not for the first time, assisted by Tom Lynch.

Following a no ball called by the bowler's end umpire that didn't involve a caution and wasn't followed by a free hit, Lynch skipped down the track and was smartly stumped by Syed Ali. Next over Hoey nicked one through to Ali off O'Donnell.

The light wasn't great, and the rain was on its way. Saneer and Benn Hoey apparently fancied another night in Cabra as they blocked their way for 11 overs to 195. Then, half way through the 53rd over, Saneer slogged Sharma to Ahmed Dar, and it was all over.

O'Donnell took 3/33 off 7 overs, Dutt 2/15 off 11, and Sharma 2/27 off 11.3. Old Belvedere will travel to Malahide or Merrion in the second round, where they will be even worse than either of those two poor sides, and lose. RIP, Old Belvedere.

I discovered many pleasures in my fifteen seasons of umpiring, among the least of which was 'making the correct decision'. For decisions which involve 'the opinion of the umpire', it's far more important not to make an incorrect decision, in particular not to give a batsman out when he may well be not out. Developing this skill takes a little time.

Much more pleasurable is developing a rapport with each of your colleagues, and sometimes this accompanies the development of genuine friendship. The same goes for scorers, club officials and, most often, the players. This involves respecting the self-evident truth that others do not always see things as you do.

Players are trying to win the match and to perform well themselves. Umpires are indifferent to winning or losing: they just want to perform well. This means that players and umpires are frequently going to disagree, and I particularly enjoyed the skill of managing these disagreements.

Frequently there is an attempt by one or more gobdaws, be they from the ICC, the LCU, the LCUSA, or wherever, to standardise proceedings: players should do this; umpires must do that; players must not say things this way; umpires shall not say things another way; this transgression must be punished that way.

This is complete bovine manure. Attempts to legislate dealing with disagreements with a strict code of conduct rather than a set of guidelines betray a complete ignorance of human nature and the human condition.

What I particularly enjoyed this weekend was watching four umpires deal with many disagreements – dealing with pressure, if you prefer – in their own ways, while trying to help their colleague do the same. I'm not saying they got everything right, but I enjoyed watching them work very hard and in tandem.

My Saturday match was the Lewis Hohn Williams Leinster Senior Cup quarter final at Castle Avenue between Clontarf and the visitors, The Hills. Spice was added by the fact that the only reverse The Hills have suffered this season was to Clontarf at Castle Avenue in a league match a couple of weeks ago.

Clontarf won the toss and batted, and The Hills were quickly in command through the bowling of Max Sorensen and Nazeer Shoukat. The only reason Richard Forrest occupied the crease for fifteen minutes was because the ball was lost under the seating installed for the Australia match, and it took ten minutes to retrieve it and to drape tarpaulins and nets around to attempt to prevent a recurrence.

In Sorensen's second over Forrest nicked one through to Peter (George) O'Donnell, and in his third he trapped Bill Coghlan lbw for 9. Rod Hokin and Andrew Poynter dug in, and slowly, very slowly, began to retrieve the situation from 16-2. Poynter survived a confident shout for caught behind when on 2, but the pair defended well.

Nazeer's opening spell ended with figures of 6-1-16-0 and Sorensen's with 7-3-12-2. The brothers Clinton took over, but apart from a couple of tight overs from Luke, there were too many loose deliveries, and it wasn't long before the tall, slim Albert van der Merwe was purveying his off breaks from the City End.

There was a hint of a caught and bowled chance when Poynter was 19, and he should have got the breakthrough before lunch when Hokin, 33, edged one through to the keeper, but George couldn't hang on to it. Lunch was taken after 31 overs with Clontarf on 111-2, Hokin 38* and Poynter an increasingly fluent 54*, the half century reached with a straight six.

The contrasting styles of the pair make for interesting viewing: Poynter is always working the ball around for ones and twos; Hokin likes the drop and run single with the odd flurry of boundaries. Eventually van der Merwe hurried one onto Poynter to have him lbw for a fine 65, with the score on 153.

Alex Cusack likes to hustle his singles, but just after he and Hokin had seen the back of van der Merwe (12-4-34-1) the pair got in a tangle leaving Cusack, 12, in the middle of the pitch. His only hope was a poor throw and/or a fumble, but the bold Albert stooped from mid wicket and threw down the stumps.

This brought in Eoghan Delany with the score on 169-4, the busy little batsman happy to feed the strike to Hokin. Somewhat belatedly The Hills had brought on Jeremy Bray to bowl his gentle seamers and floaters from the Killester end, and the former Aussie was convinced he had Hokin plumb lbw with the current Aussie in the 70s. Umpire Peter Thew disagreed, precipitating a blast of steam from the Bray ears.

Hokin went to 99 with a six and on to his ton out of 211 in the 55th over. Delany's neat little innings ended in Sorensen's last over, bowled for 28. There was still time for Jordan Coghlan to be run out for 2, for skipper Joe Morrissey to nurdle a single, and for Hokin to take his score to an unbeaten 124.

257-6 was the 60 over score, with only eight wides among sixteen extras. Sorensen finished with 3/28 off nine, and perhaps should have been reintroduced a little earlier. At lunch I had discussed the likely score with The Hills connections, and they didn't want to chase much more than 230 on the second-hand pitch.

To chase 257 was going to need a really good start, not losing a wicket to the third ball. van der Merwe played back to a ball from Jordan Coghlan that kept low, and the inevitable appeal was answered in the affirmative by Peter Thew.

Back in the hutch, Albert indicated his discontent to his mate Jeremy, who put Hokin's extra fifty he thought he shouldn't have got with the fifty his mate didn't get to produce a midsummer century of discontent. Meanwhile, Nazeer poked leaden-footedly at Coghlan and gave Vijay Gopal a catch: 22-2 in the 7th over.

Mike Baumgart and Bray played positively, collected a couple of boundaries each, and settled in to their work. Alex Cusack replaced Coghlan from the Killester end and went round the wicket to the left-handed Bray. A full delivery hit the pads and the appeal was rewarded by Peter Thew.

Bray didn't like the geometry and said so, but he had to go for 12. Peter's ears must have burned for a few minutes, not just from the conversations in the pavilion but also from the fielding side's liking for an appeal. But he backed himself, as did John Andrews at the City end, and the noise diminished as Max Sorensen and Mark Dwyer carelessly chipped catches to make it 73-5.

All through this, skipper Baumgart had been quietly accumulating runs. Tomas Murphy started nervously, nicking a boundary past slip, but began to enjoy himself and the partnership passed fifty and produced a glimmer of hope for the Wilberries, especially when Baumgart was badly missed on 60.

Eoghan Delany's bowling was tidy, even if his slow left-arm action, so smooth three years ago, is now full of twitches and jerks. The asking rate had gone over a run a ball when Cusack returned to bowl young Murphy (yes, from that famous Fingal family) for a very good 38.

165-6 became 165-7 after an injudicious mow from Joseph Clinton, and 180-8 when Peter O'Donnell kicked a straight one off his stumps (no argument was forthcoming this time). Baumgart had reached 94 when he ricked his back, had a rest and called for a runner.

No sooner had the appropriately-clad Max Sorensen made it to square leg than Mike tried to slog his opposite number for the six he required. Delany completed the catch, Luke Clinton effected a chassis down the pitch to be stumped off JoMo, and The Hills were all out for 193 in 53.5 overs.

Cusack took 4/40, Coghlan 2/36 and Morrissey 2/21. There were nineteen extras, of which fifteen were wides. Yet again, The Hills had failed to turn up in Castle Avenue. I didn't go in for a drink, so I don't know if everybody kissed and made up in the bar.

Neither did I ask John Andrews next day when he was in a gloriously sunny Park Avenue. After all, I'm only an ex-umpire, one from whom the LCUSA have made it abundantly clear that they do not want any advice or assistance.

John was there to support North County in general and his son in particular as the Balrothery outfit took on Railway Union, both teams still unbeaten in league and cup this season after Saturday's victories. County won the toss and had a hit.

Conor Armstrong and Mossy Shiel faced a lively Saad Ullah and a more leisurely Carlo Rendell. Mossy carved Saad to Kenny Carroll at point, then Brian Shields drove loosely at Rendell and was taken in the gully by Tom Fisher. The left-handed Richie Lawrence was immediately dropped by Paddy Conliffe.

In the next over Lawrence played the same shot, the pick-up off his legs, in the air wide of Conliffe off Mo Tariq, for 4. A better fielder would have got something on it: as it was, Richie was six and rolling. Then Conor nicked Saad to Graeme McDonnell at slip for 22 out of 44-3, and County were rocking.

Jonno Andrews started uncertainly, but came out of his shell when Saad had bowled his overs straight through, 10-2-14-2, a fine effort. McDonnell's two overs went for two dozen, and Tariq was hit for 4, dot, 4, 6. After 25 overs, County were 103-3, a good position from which to build a match-winning total.

Andrews had raced to 38 out of 104 when he played neither back nor forward and was lbw to Kenny Carroll. Ciaran Garry scored seven of the next eight runs before he played forward to Carroll and was given out lbw. I thought he'd got in enough of a stride to be given the benefit of the doubt about height.

Joey Mooney, sitting next to me, disagreed and, more importantly, so did umpire Kamal Marchant. Whenever an umpire gives a couple of quick lbws, even if they're plumb, the players get excited and start roaring and shouting for everything.

Fever pitch was approached when, from the other end, Jimmy Boyland was given out lbw by David Cook, one the Aussie pro clearly thought he'd hit. Railway were right on top, and were assisted by Eddie Richardson, who played a daft shot to be caught by Conor Mullen off Carlo Rendell.

On 137-7, Lawrence was joined by Dara Armstrong, and the pair played sensibly, seeing off Carroll (10-2-30-2) and Rendell (10-1-40-2). Dara eventually took one liberty too many with Tariq to be caught for 23, then Terry Richardson was four and out, swinging Tariq high to keeper Sam Farthing.

185-9 was a losing position, but Conor Shiel got his head down and battled with Lawrence to add 23 more runs before, with one ball left, he was lbw to Tariq to give Kamal his hat-trick and Mo a return of 3/47, leaving Lawrence unbeaten on 76, an excellent knock.

208 was nowhere near enough, and County knew they had to keep taking wickets to put pressure on the batting side. They had also decided to put pressure on the umpires but shouting and screaming for everything. It was all over-theatrical, with stupid tea-pots and 'aahs' from cover and mid wicket whenever an appeal was turned down.

The fielding side were pushing it too far, and I thought the umpires did very well to stay calm and to avoid wagging fingers and making speeches. Kenny Carroll and Tom Fisher, meantime, compiled a comfortable fifty opening partnership with some crisp driving.

Lawrence was on fairly early with his off breaks, and got the breakthrough when he bowled Carroll (27), who lost his footing and played no shot to a straight one. The shrieking stopped temporarily when Fisher hit a catch to Brian Shields, who grassed it. Not a sign of a tea-pot.

But it didn't cost: Fisher was given lbw to Lawrence, a decision which disappointed him, but he had to go and Railway were 55-2. County kept up the noise, but now the intimidation was aimed more at the Railway batsmen and less at the umpires.

Graeme McDonnell and Druv Kapoor are both young and, I felt, bullied out, McDonnell giving a catch off Andrews's off-breaks, and Kapoor bowled by Lawrence. Tim Townend is the Minister for Silly Shots, and duly obliged to leave Railway on 93-5.

Conor Mullen and Mo Tariq grafted for a while, but Mully went back to Mossy Shiel's slow left-arm and was bang in front. He hoped it was too high – it wasn't. Saad slogged Mossy Shiel to Mini Garry, Tariq nicked Andrews through to Dara Armstrong, and it was 107-8 and game over.

Rendell then edged Mossy Shiel to Dara to make it 117-9, and the sun was setting over Park Avenue. Sam Farthing was dropped on nought and then played very sensibly and very straight with an equally orthodox Paddy Conliffe, to put on 30 runs.

A third bonus point was looming when Farthing set off for a quick single. He made the crease but then knocked the bat out of his hand to be out of his ground when the ball hit the stumps. David Cook took his time to make the right decision, the County players thinking for a moment he wasn't going to and beginning to get even noisier.

Railway were all out for 147 off the last ball of the 44th over. Their three spinners, normally backup or bit part bowlers, had won them the match: Lawrence 3/32; Andrews 3/29; Mossy Shiel 3/20. In truth, Railway had bottled it.

These are two good sides, but were each without their main men: Trent Johnston and Kevin O'Brien for Railway; and Andre Botha and John Mooney for County. They're going to be without them a lot for the rest of the season. If either side is going to win anything, they've got to play a lot, lot better than they did on the day.

In particular: Railway's middle order have got to bat properly to build on the good starts than Carroll and Fisher usually give them; and County have got to realise that the Stoke City approach only works sometimes – they can play, so why confine themselves to long throws and kicking lumps off the other side?

It was a beautiful afternoon in Rush, as I joined umpires Jim McGeehan and John Andrews to watch the Kenure pitch be cut, rolled and marked for the continuation of the Rush v Pembroke LHW Senior Cup match, in which Rush needed 98 more in 18 overs.

The resumption had been delayed until Thursday to allow a couple of the Pembroke players to finish their exams and to 6:30 p.m. to allow the 'Broke's (very few) high fliers make their way from the Financial Services Centre to the Fingal coast.

Barry McCarthy was lively from the town end, and Allan Eastwood even more lively from the Loughshinny end. Eastwood's half volley was drilled by Shahid straight to Rohit Bahl, who clung on. That was the bit of luck they needed: two yards either side and it was four runs.

Shahid had added a single to his overnight 107 and had put on 163 with Tipu Gull to take Rush to 267-4 in pursuit of Pembroke's 360. He was replaced by Patrick Sheridan, who looked comfortable as Gull picked off a series of boundaries to take the score past 300.

By this time Eastwood had bowled out (3/84), McCarthy had been relieved by Bill Whaley, and Steven Moreton tried his leggies from Eastwood's end. The left-handed Sheridan appeared to leave a standard leg break and was bowled for 8 with the score on 302.

Lionel Jansen swept Moreton for 4 and then nicked one through to Graeme McCoy – 306-6. Alan Butterly showed his knowledge of the Kenure ground as he nudged and nurdled, and Tipu continued through the 80s.

Then he pulled a half-tracker from Whaley to the longest boundary on the ground. I was sitting by the old scoreboard, and saw the ball disappear behind the pavilion for what I presumed would be six runs.

I knew Barry McCarthy was in that corner, but I was very surprised when a cheer signalled the catch, a very good one, I'm told. The sea breeze must have held the ball up. Gull made 88, and the Russians were going to struggle to win it from 320-7.

Niall Mullen hoisted Moreton straight for a huge six, but later in the over padded up to another plain leg break and was given out lbw – as I've told you, I was in the corner and can only say it wasn't going over the top.

If Shahid Iqbal is a very poor runner between the wickets, his namesake Amir is five times worse. Twice he should have been run out as he dithered on clear calls from Butterly. 361 wasn't going to be achieved, Wilfred Rhodes-like, in singles, so Buttsy had to look for boundaries.

Bill Whaley obliged with a shin-high full toss, which was whacked straight to Bahl. 'No ball' were the hopeful cries from in front of the bar, but John Andrews knows where his waist is (there's enough of it!), and the Russians now needed a miracle.

Amir tried to run himself out again, failed, and was bowled next ball by Whaley for 6, leaving Nick Donnelly not out on 7. A score of 345 will win you virtually all 60-over matches, even in Rush, but it was 15 short.

Moreton finished with 3/53 and Whaley 4/39. Pembroke bowled only 10 wides against the Russians' 33. As on Sunday in Milverton, it could be said that a match was lost courtesy of wides conceded. But both losing sides know they did all the hard work and then blew it.

The 'Broke are now drawn at home to meet North County, but with the problems with their square, they're probably going to have to move the match to Inch. However, they won there last season in the Bob Kerr Irish Senior Cup, so why not again?

I'm going to miss the next two weekends as my wife and I make our annual anabasis to a part of the UK we don't know very well – this year we start at Ludlow and make our way south through the Marches. So you're spared my forecasts, tweets and reports.

But, like Fu Manchu, I shall return

On a beautiful sunny summer's Sunday we got back from our holliers on the morning ferry from Holyhead, so after I'd dumped my luggage in the passage (where it still remains) and had a cup of tea, I set off for Park Avenue.

As I was driving over Mount Anville, where the Sandymount coastline comes into view, a huge black cloud sat over the mouth of the Liffey, and the bright summer's morning receded into memory. As I entered Cold Blow Lane it began to spit rain.

But a glance at the scoreboard revealed a very healthy situation for YMCA: 170-2 in 37 overs with Alan Lewis and Carl Hosford batting and Graham McDonnell and Trent Johnston bowling for Railway. As Trent started the 38th over I discovered Lewie was on 98, and he duly chopped the big fella to square third man for a couple of runs and his ton.

Hosford spanked a couple of boundaries off McDonnell, and YM began the 40th over on 181-2, a model for a 300+ total. Then Johnston trapped Lewis lbw (I was told he had been plumb his first ball as well as last) for 100 and, for no good reason, the Young Men fell apart.

Kenny Carroll replaced Johnston with his chinamen and googlies, and in the 44th over induced Hosford (28) to poke a half-tracker to Tom Fisher at short mid on: 196-4. In the next over from the St John's end James Parkinson failed to pick Carroll's short, straight one and was lbw for 7: 208-5.

It was now spotting with rain, but there was still time for Stu McCready (13) to place yet another half-tracker to the selfsame Fisher in the selfsame short mid on position to make it 212-6. Matthew Quirke blocked out the rest of Carroll's over as the rain got heavy.

Off came the players, on came the tarpulin, the lady bowlers continued for a while in their fetching pac-a-macs and galoshes, but even they gave up. After a while the rain briefly stopped, the tarp came off, the players began to take the field, but that big black cloud hadn't moved.

Down came the rain, more and more heavily. Tea was taken. The rain, eventually, stopped. But there was no chance of any further play, so I went home to a glass or two of wine and to nod off in front of more of the most boring ever World Cup.

After a few glimpses of real football and footballing skills during the Netherlands v Denmark game, it was more superdross, and I was delighted to drive back down to Sandymount to watch the continuation of the LHW Cup game.

It was bright and sunny, but there was that cold, cold easterly breeze that lives in Railway's ground and is to be found nowhere else outside of Scandinavia except, occasionally, at Kenure and, very occasionally, at Milverton. Perhaps it's a folk memory of erstwhile Viking raiders.

Etesham Ahmed and Matt Quirke started off against Kevin O'Brien and Trent Johnston, and survived two overs before Shammy (8) edged O'Brien to Johnston at slip and, next ball, McAuley was lbw, making it 222-8, a case of double Nelson yielding a double wicket!

Quirke, after an excellent cover drive to take him to 9, edged Johnston down the legside for Sam Farthing to take a tumbling catch: 231-9. Johnston and O'Brien bowled out their overs to be replaced by Carlo Rendell and Paddy Conliffe.

Steven Walsh and Jonny Harte chipped another half dozen runs before Walsh was lbw to Conliffe for 2, leaving Harte 5* out of 237 in 58.4 overs. YM had been 150-1 in the 34th over: the last 25 overs yielded 87 runs and nine wickets.

Johnston's twelve brought him 4/38, O'Brien's dozen 2/25, both class efforts from class players. Kenny Carroll took 3/22 off 6: it's not his fault that batsmen keep getting out to him, but they do! The other 28.4 overs went for 1/148.

O'Brien and Johnston, away on Ireland duty for the rest of the week, opened the batting for Railway. Wor Kev crashed three boundaries before getting a pearler from James Parkinson ('pitched middle and leg and hit the top of off' was how he described it to me) to be out for 12 out of 13.

Tom Fisher joined his captain and after an over or two finding the fielders, including a possible return catch, got his sat nav calibrated and started missing them. Johnston used Plan B to avoid the fielders – the aerial route - and the score quickly passed 50 and accelerated into the 70s at approaching a run a ball.

Jonny Harte was purveying his darts, not quite as accurately as Phil Taylor, but good enough to convince umpire JJ Labuschagne that Johnston, on 29, had missed a straight one. A cheery farewell from slip didn't best please the departing batsman, but it couldn't alter the fact that it was 79-2 in the 14th over.

Tim Townend, coming in at four, likes to get on with it. He clouted Stu McCready back low to the bowler's left hand. Smacker couldn't hang on to the catch and did enough damage to his hand that he promptly disappeared up the road to St Vincent's.

Townend was dropped by the loquacious centurion at slip, and then by McAuley at deep mid wicket off Harte. Drinks were taken at 109-2 off 18 overs, when Strydom decided to bring back himself and Parkinson. It worked.

Townend had clattered his way to 19 when he was bowled by Parkinson – 118-3 – and, next over, the bit of luck that can change matches. Carroll drove the ball back to Strydom who scooped it onto the stumps a fraction before Fisher, backing up, could regain his ground, and it was 121-4 in the 21st over.

Rob Nandi took over from Parkinson at the St John's end and, as ever, appeared to the casual observer to be chucking the odd delivery. Carroll thought so too, and gestured his concern to striker's end umpire Jim McGeehan. Why can't the LCU and the LCUSA sort this problem out by examining videos of bowlers with questionable actions?

Carroll dropped anchor while Conor Mullen played a few shots, but as nine o' clock approached the pair restricted themselves to singles, and after 33 overs the umpires called 'Time'. It wasn't that dark, it wasn't at all dangerous, but there certainly weren't going to be another 7 overs, let alone 27, so it was a reasonable call.

YMCA are playing a Twenty20 on Tuesday evening, the ground is unavailable on Wednesday and Thursday, so it's Friday night, the evening before the winners travel to Milverton to meet The Hills 2 in the next round. I'll be up Cold Blow to record events – follow baldstu on Twitter.

I drove out to Malahide on Wednesday ready for an afternoon in the sun: singlet, shorts, sun cream. I sat under cloudy skies as a very understaffed Malahide took the field to an equally short strength Clontarf. I retreated to the pavilion as it started to rain, but followed the players back out as it equally rapidly stopped.

Reece McDonald and Pete Saville were very accurate on the usual low, slow green pudding of a Malahide track. Bill Coghlan and Richard Forrest were in no danger from the bowling, but Forrest was so frustrated by his inability to score that he squirted the ball to point, called and ran.

Instead of turning his back an engaging in conversation with umpire JJ Labuschagne, Bill loped towards the other end and thence off to the pavilion. Forrest finally got going in company with Rod Hokin, and accelerated towards his fifty.

On 45 he drove Jimmy Govan to Alan Reynolds at mid off where the youngster judged the catch well. Eoghan Delany (21) settled in, added fifty with Hokin, and was then very disappointed to be given lbw to Glenn Kirwan.

Greg Molins was also disappointed to go the same way, whereupon skipper Joe Morrissey tried to help Hokin towards a decent score. Hokin was caught behind for 63, JoMo well taken in the deep for a rapid 36 by McDonald, and 'Tarf finished on 207-7 off their fifty overs.

This was thirty short of a challenging score, thanks to 3/22 of 10 overs from Pete Saville and 1/36 from the ever-reliable Jimmy Govan. Pete Saville opened the batting with Fintan McAllister and drove his way to 24 out of 49 before he fell to Greg Molins's sucker ball – the straight one.

Jimmy Govan didn't like his lbw, Reece McDonald didn't complain about his, and Malahide were 84-3 and rocking. Clontarf couldn't put any further pressure on as Rod Hokin and Eoghan Delany couldn't quite get it right.

There was much boundary discussion of Delany's action, and the most revealing contribution came from a Clontarf connection. 'What's all the fuss about? For years the umpires never called Del Boy for chucking.

I suggested that this was because Del Boy didn't chuck – stopped, yes – but right arm as straight as Rod Stewart. The exchanges stopped as the Clontarf elder called me a stupid man. It's one-eyed observations and the subsequent flawed analysis like this that has the LCU in the mess that it is.

Delany actually bowled very tidily, but McAllister and Nick Turner added 72 before Turner (36) became the third lbw victim from the Road end. I could sympathise with his reluctance to depart, although my sympathy was based on height and his reluctance on line.

No matter, in came Captain Fantastic, Phil Markey, to whack 28 as Finto moved to 71 and Malahide to 208-4 off 40.2 overs. A good afternoon for the Village – they won't get an easier win than this, although they need a minimum of three more to stay up.

They don't get a chance this weekend, nor next weekend when their match is postponed because of the Irish Senior Cup, nor the weekend after when they have to postpone another match as they play 'Tarf again in the LHW semi final.

So what will happen this weekend? The Hills will beat North County in Milverton, Clontarf will beat Merrion in Anglesea Road, and YMCA will win at home to Leinster. In Division 2 on Saturday, Rush will beat Phoenix in the Park and Terenure will beat Old Belvedere in the Chlee.

On Sunday there's just the one match, in Division 2, when The Hills 2 travel to Sydney Parade to take on Pembroke. Pembroke should win, but I'm not sure that they will!

Last week I wrote about the pressures that players try to put on umpires, and how the umpires try to deal with it. Among the interesting features of the matches I watched this weekend was observing the pressures players put on themselves and on their teammates.

On Saturday, after the obligatory jam and cream scones, I settled down to see how The Hills batsmen would deal with the North County bowlers after their skipper, Mike Baumgart, had won the toss and chosen to bat.

In John Mooney's first over, from the Blackhills end, Jeremy Bray pushed at one angled across him that he might well have left alone. There was a noise, the ball thudded into Dara Armstrong's gloves, there was a big appeal (of course), and up went the umpire's finger.

Back in the hutch, JB was adamant he hadn't hit it, but later on in the day when told of the this, the response of the County boys was along the lines of 'Well, somebody hit it, and he was the only guy up that end with a bat in his hand!' Whatever, it was 1-1 in the second over.

Mike Baumgart and Albert van der Merwe played very carefully, and were given very little even remotely loose by Mooney and Jimmy Boyland. The score had advanced to 17 in the eighth over when Mooney induced a nick behind from Baumgart.

Next over, Boyland did likewise to dismiss van der Merwe, and in Mooney's sixth over he bowled Max Sorensen neck and crop to reduce The Hills to 21-4. Mark Dwyer and Nazeer Shaukat battled away, and saw Boyland take a breather after seven fine overs.

Eddie Richardson bounced in from the Pavilion end and, first ball up, produced a half-tracker. With a minimum of foot movement, Mark Dwyer flat-batted it straight to Conor Shiel at mid on. What should have been 31-4 was 27-5.

Tomas Murphy joined Nazeer and the pair ground it out against John Mooney (10-2-16-3), while Naz picked off the odd loose ball from Richardson. In his fourth over, Richardson trapped Murphy lbw for one with a very full delivery to make the score 51-6.

The left-handed Malcolm Byrne likes to hit the ball, and received a few opportunities to do just that from Richardson, but off spinner Richie Lawrence, replacing Mooney, was even more parsimonious than Mooney had been. On 9, Byrne survived a very confident appeal, and shortly afterwards lost Nazeer.

Naz had eventually started to move his feet well to the seamers, but was still playing Lawrence from well within the crease. On 34, he failed to get to the pitch of a fullish delivery, and swung it to mid on where Conor Shiel stooped to claim a second catch.

Peter O'Donnell went back and across to Lawrence's arm ball, far enough across, he thought, for the ball to be missing off stump. But the umpire disagreed, and George had himself a duck as The Hills lurched to 77-8.

I've said before that Luke Clinton is by no means the worst Tail-End Charlie in Senior cricket, and neither is number 10 too high for him. The two left-handers chipped away at Lawrence and Conor Shiel, Lawrence conceding a boundary in his final over to finish with 10-4-13-2.

The pair had added 28 when Byrne (26) was lbw to Conor Shiel, now coming from the Blackhills end, and of the final ball of Shiel's next over Branigan was bowled for 0, leaving Clinton on 7* out of 110 in 44 overs. Nineteen wides and six leg byes made good old Ernie the third highest scorer.

Boyland took 1/20, Richardson 2/35 and Conor Shiel 2/20, each off 8 overs. An anxiety to do well over-riding basic technique had contributed to several of the batsmen's dismissals. None of the six dismissals confirmed by the umpires looked horribly wrong, despite JB's reservations.

After the usual high quality Milverton tea, sandwiches, cakes and bikkies, The Hills took to the field knowing they'd need to take early wickets to put pressure on, and keep taking wickets to keep the pressure on. Even then, if just one County batsman could score forty and another couple could hang around, it would be all over, Rover.

Conor Armstrong and Tomas Shiel survived Nazeer's opening overs, but found Sorensen more straightforward, leaving the back of a length deliveries to go over or past off stump. Conor even managed a couple of boundaries plus an edge past slip off Naz.

He had scored 18 out of 26 when he fell lbw in Nazeer's fifth over. Back in the hutch, he explained that you'd need Paul Daniels's magic wand as a bat to play Naz. O'Donnell was up over the stumps to Nazeer, and after a sniff of a stumping chance had gone a-begging, he very slickly removed the bails as Shiel stretched too far forward.

That was 39-2 in 12 overs. Brian Shields had got to 9 when Albert van der Merwe replaced Sorensen at the Pavilion end. Shieldsy drilled one back and van der Merwe took a very slick catch down by his shins.

One run later Lawrence was lbw to a little floater from Jeremy Bray and when, after four leg byes, John Mooney edged a low catch off van der Merwe, superbly snaffled by Bray at slip, County were 48-5 and rocking.

When van der Merwe took a catch by his bootstraps at slip off Bray, The Hills thought they had accounted for Ciaran Garry. Mini wasn't going anywhere, and the umpire ruled that it had come off the thigh only, so he soldiered on with Boyland.

When the Aussie opening bowler was bowled by van der Merwe for 5 it was 65-6 after 25 overs, the exact same score as recorded by The Hills. Jonno Andrews nicked one past slip for 4 and was lbw to van der Merwe. One run later van der Merwe caught Richardson at slip off Bray – 74-8.

Skipper Dara Armstrong bats himself right down the order these days, and early on pushed at van der Merwe, the ball well taken at silly mid off by opposition skipper Baumgart. When the umpire ruled that no bat was involved, a few tea pots were made.

van der Merwe's final over went for 10, including a six into the beech trees by Armstrong, and when Sorensen came back County needed another 15 runs, with Garry well set on 24 and Armstrong on 10. The ball was squirted out on the leg side, and Armstrong called for a run.

Non-striker Garry immediately sent him back, but while Armstrong started his turning manouevre, which these days is about the same speed and distance as was the Titanic's, Mark Dwyer closed in on the ball. The odds were still on Leonardo di Armstrong making it to New York.

Even when Dwyer ran round the ball onto his right hand, he still had to pick up, throw, and hit the stumps. Even his best friends will tell you that Mark couldn't hit a barn door with a banjo. Of course, with a stump and a half to aim at, he threw them down.

In came Conor Shiel, and so desperate were County for runs that they took a single off the last ball. But JB was finished (10-2-23-2, to go with van der Merwe's 10-1-28-4) and up stepped Nazeer with the sort of grin of anticipated satisfaction you see on a leopard as he hops up a tree to eat a gemsbok he'd killed earlier.

It was all done and dusted two balls later, Shiel lbw, and County bowled out for 97 in the 36th over. Nazeer finished with 7.2-3-7-3, his opening partner Sorensen on 8-1-34-0, the only bowler wicketless on the day. County, unlike Linda Lovelace, had choked on the big one.

That result removed the last unbeaten record from Division 1, while elsewhere Merrion broke their duck. There are now three sides competing for the title – North County, Railway Union and The Hills – while the other five are left to squabble over the two relegation places.

But who's coming up from Division 2? Phoenix had scored a million runs in the Park on Saturday against Rush, but only won by 40. Unbeaten Pembroke welcomed to Sydney Parade on Sunday The Hills 2, who'd lost only one. The Hills 2 can't be promoted, of course, but that wasn't going to stop them from winning if they could.

Joseph Clinton won the toss for them and elected to field. The general rule in Sydney Parade is that you bat first, because the pitch never gets better, and not infrequently gets worse. Third XI player Danny Barclay was rewarded for his 95* in the Cup the previous week by the opening slot with Theo Lawson.

He and Theo tucked into some early pies from Mal Byrne, Clinton and Steven Archer, and the Power Play ended on 75-0. Barclay had become becalmed in the early twenties as Lawson drove his way past fifty, and Nadim Akhtar finally got his away swing on the right line to have Barclay lbw for 23 out of 89 in the 18th over.

Ryan Hopkins immediately holed out for a duck, and Steven Moreton came in to bat in his busy fashion as Lawson devoured the loose stuff coming from the Sydney Parade end. The pair were happy to play out Nadim's 10 overs for 2/26.

Eventually some order was brought to the Sydney Parade end after terminating a century partnership somewhat fortuitously by having Moreton caught on the boundary for 42 off Branigan. Moreton had put a half-tracker away only to see Manu Kumar, not the world's greatest fielder, take a very good catch to his left.

He would have been applauded for saving six, but instead was congratulated for making Pembroke 193-3. Kumar then took over from Akhtar at the Sandymount end, bowled Lawson for a fine 102 and had McCarthy stumped by Mark Dwyer.

He finished with 2/45 while Clinton picked up four late wickets from the other end for a ten over return of 4/39. Pembroke closed on 253-9, Allan Eastwood on 21*, good old Ernie Extras third top scorer on 37 (27 wides).

Pembroke are a decent bowling side, so chasing that many wasn't going to be easy, particularly on a track that was starting to keep very low. Barclay objected to Ajaz Farooqi's two-piece bat – had I been able to lift it (it weighs a ton!), any such query to me would have resulted with at least one piece being lodged where the sun don't shine – but Ajaz is a gentle soul.

After Ajaz was bowled by Barry McCarthy for 11 and Mark Dwyer lbw to Eastwood for 13, the Wilberries' task was looking too onerous. It became downright impossible when Rob Byrne was lbw to Bill Whaley for 16 and the Power Play ended on 62-3.

Andy Leonard came on at the Sydney Parade end and started turning the ball square. He accounted for Kumar courtesy of an excellent boundary catch by Paul Lawson, Mal Byrne lbw and Steven Archer also lbw, to make it 100-6.

Paul Lawson couldn't get his off breaks right and was replaced by Steven Moreton. Meantime, Clinton fell to Leonard for 24 with another catch, this time by Barclay. There was much discussion on the boundary about how one umpire could give lbws to a leggie turning it miles while the other umpire was refusing lbw appeals on the grounds that it was turning too much.

Not being party to any post-match debriefing (if there was one), I don't know the answer to that question. I wasn't in line, but I'm not a fan of front foot lbws, particularly to spinners. I do know there was no argument about the straightness of the last three dismissals, all bowled (by leg break bowlers).

The Hills 2 were 121 all out off 33.3 overs, Ernie joint top-scoring with Joseph Clinton. Andy Leonard bagged a Michelle – 5/18 – and Steven Moreton 2/3. The 'Broke must be certainties for promotion: the batting is solid; and the bowling is good – two lively openers in Eastwood and McCarthy, a good first change in Bill Whaley, and three spinners who will all have their days.

Last season, North County, five times winners of the Irish Senior Cup this century, lost very narrowly at home in the quarter final to unfancied Pembroke. In this season's quarter final they were again at home to an unfancied LCU club, this time Merrion. With County missing John Mooney and Andre Botha, would history be repeated?

North County won the toss, asked Merrion to bat and had success first ball when Gus Joyce nicked one down the leg side to Dara Armstrong. Greg Clarence hit a couple of confident boundaries, but in Jimmy Boyland's fourth over got a pearler which pitched middle and pinged the off stump.

Merrion were 26-2 with Ben Ackland struggling and Dom Joyce new to the crease. On 14, Ackland survived a big shout for caught behind (but is there any such thing as a little shout these days?). Eddie Richardson replaced Conor Shiel from what's known as the Balrothery end (the road end) and immediately had Ackland lbw for 16 and Merrion 45-3.

Skipper Johnny Anderson dug in with Joyce, and the pair tried to keep the scoreboard moving with plenty of quick singles. On 9, Anderson survived an appeal after a direct hit: County connections I talked to said it was close but out; Merrion connections (and there were very few of them) that it was close but in. Funny, that.

As the Merrion pair built their innings, North County's off-spinner, Richie Lawrence, had to retire with a groin strain after bowling three overs. This deprived County not only of a containing bowler but also of a senior head to discuss matters with Dara Armstrong.

With brother Conor, not a regular bowler these days, operating from the Knockbrack end, and Shane Plant, not a regular team member, purveying his offies at the other end, County lost their grip, and Merrion prospered.

Joyce and Anderson added 47 runs in the ten overs between the end of the Bowling Power Play and drinks, and moved on from Nelson then to 139-3 in 31 overs when Joyce completed his 50. Next over Anderson reached 50 and the score 147. Mystifyingly, no other bowler was tried.

Richardson came back to break the partnership, Anderson lbw to one that kept very low for 60 out of 164, whereupon Joyce was carelessly run out for 65 and Merrion were 167-5 and in danger of crumbling to a poor score. Kade Beasley kept trying to run himself out, was dropped, but his luck stayed in.

With Rory Allwright he added 35, with Simon Morrissey another 20, making use of the Batting Power Play. Beazo was eventually bowled by Richardson for a combative 51, Richard Keaveney quickly went the same way, but Jeff Short and Tiktish Patel scrambled another 18 runs to see Merrion to a very competitive 274-9 after 50 overs.

Jimmy Boyland, with 3/41, and Eddie Richardson, with 4/31, could look back on a job well done. None of the other bowlers will thank me for recording their figures, so you'll have to wait until John Boomer eventually puts them up on the web site some time in August.

County needed a good start and got one. While Simon Morrissey bowled a decent spell from the road end (7-1-22-0), neither Richard 'Kiwi' Keaveney nor Dom Joyce (another emergency bowler) could get it right, and the 10 over score was 62-0 as Conor Armstrong and Mossie Shiel helped themselves.

Anderson bravely didn't delay the Bowling Power Play, and after 15 overs it was only 90-0. Off-spinner Clarence and slow left-armer Patel were drafted in, and quickly put a brake on the scoring. Shiel reached 50 out of 100 in the 18th over, but in Clarence's next over he played too soon and lobbed a return catch to be out for 53 out of 102 in the 20th over.

Brian Shields busied himself with pushes and the odd fierce drive, while Conor Armstrong had lost his way, and the score drifted to 118 at drinks. Conor finally got to 50 in the 30th over when, thanks mainly to Shieldsy, the score had reached 141, meaning that County had to score at better than a run a ball to get home.

With nine wickets in hand on a quick-scoring ground, this shouldn't have been a huge problem. Clarence finished his spell of 10-2-40-1, the skipper tried himself for a couple of overs of leag breaks, got whacked and turned back to Morrissey to finish his ten overs. With the score on 176-1 after 37 overs, County called for the Batting Power Play.

It worked insofar as it yielded 37 runs for the loss of Armstrong, bowled by Patel for 69, and Shields, caught behind off Patel for 33, leaving 62 required off the last eight overs with seven wickets in hand. Patel was finished (10-1-25-2), so too Morrissey (10-1-36-0), and Anderson had been whacked out of the attack again.

Joyce and Keaveney had to do the job: Kiwi went for 9, but then Joyce bowled Boyland for 18 and conceded only four runs; Kiwi went for 7, then Ciaran Garry went after Joyce, hitting him for a straight six and being dropped next ball, 15 runs coming off the 46th over.

I texted The Hills captain, on a bender in England, that County needed 27 off four overs, and he replied to the effect that it should be in the bag. Kiwi's penultimate over went for only four, and Joyce kept it full and straight to account for Garry (18) and Dara Armstrong (23) for only just runs. Keaveny's last over conceded nine runs for the wicket of Andrews.

That left 10 to win off the last over with three wickets in hand, although nine would have done, I think, if they lost fewer than nine wickets. Richardson and Lawrence, batting with a runner, took three singles and a leg bye. A swing and a miss meant that Richardson had to hit the last ball for six.

A thick inside edge propelled the ball towards deep mid wicket, who gathered and returned it to Ackland behind the stumps. Richardson didn't bother to take the irrelevant single, and County finished five runs short on 269-7. The bowlers' figures of 8-0-64-1 and 8-0-56-3 look pretty ropey, but the overs that mattered were 4-0-29-1 and 4-0-25-3. Job well done.

So County have fallen again over a hurdle they should have cleared. I just don't understand why, when he had three bowlers going for close to a run-a-ball, the skipper didn't try others. Jonno Andrews and Mossy Shiel had both bowled well a fortnight previously in Railway. OK, Inch isn't as spinner-friendly as Park Avenue, but would they have been worse?

I know that it's far easier being a hurler on the ditch, but I'm just asking the question. Another thing this observer is frequently chided for, especially by some members of the umpiring fraternity, is deriding the umpires. I just write what I see.

In Division 1 I expect to see the best club cricket there can be, batting, bowling, fielding, umpiring, scoring, facilities, hospitality, the lot. On Saturday, apart from a few fielding lapses and County's strategy in the field, I saw them all, especially from the umpires: Gordon Black and Clive Colleran did a really good job.

In Division 2 my expectations aren't so high, and I look for potential to be better and do better. That's why I'm harsh in my comments on Dublin University and Old Belvedere: there isn't any potential. It's also why I thought it a mistake to put The Hills 2 in Division 2 – the aspiration should be to get on The Hills first team.

But the Wilberries' second string have performed well and, when Matt Dwyer is in the side, are a competitive outfit. On Sunday in the Phoenix Park, Matt was absent for the second week in succession. When I asked what was wrong I was met by knowing looks from some and peculiar facial tics and rolling eyeballs from others.

Joseph Clinton won the toss and elected to bat against a Phoenix side missing Conor Kelly and Ted Williamson. The other Cork Harlequin, Morne Bauer, opened the bowling from the river end with a howling gale at his back. The bails kept flying off, so heavy bails were sent for.

They too wouldn't stay on, so bails were dispensed with and Bauer began exploring the middle of the pitch. Andrew Moore, who wasn't wearing a helmet, lost one in Bauer's second over and ducked into the ball. After some on-field attention he retired with a very sore jaw to be replaced by a helmeted Rob Byrne.

Rob and Brendan Moore tucked into some loose stuff and put on 65 in the first fifteen overs. Then Moore pulled Cavanagh to Vaidyanathan at mid on to be out for 26. The left-handed Mal Byrne came in, and dealt safely with the wind-assisted David Langford Smith, and the accurate Khan from the other end.

They had reached 102 by drinks, when Mal Byrne was caught behind off Khan for 27. Skipper Clinton decided that Masud Ahmed had to go, but succeeded only in lofting him into the wind. Lanky circled the ball like a great white before snapping his paws shut around it.

Andew Moore reappeared with a prominent seam-mark on his cheek, visible even through the helmet and grill. He added another half dozen to the six he already had before being bowled by Khan. Simon Cooke came and went, stumped by Graham Flanagan off Masud Ahmed.

Nadim Akhtar and Vipal Gargya couldn't deal with Lanky, now bowling into the wind after Khan's impressive spell of 10-4-20-2 (not bad for a third team player!), and it was 143-7. When Rob Byrne swung Lanky to Khan for 53 the score was 156 with only a sprog, William Archer, sprog-at-heart Mick Dwyer (in because nephew Mark was injured), and Bren Byrne off the 5ths to come.

Archer and Dwyer each scored 19 as the score was pushed to 196-8 off 50 overs, something to bowl at, but without l'equipage qui rit to do ten overs of bowling. Langford Smith finished on 3/37 and Masud Ahmed 2/29.

Rory Flanagan and Ben Larkin carried on where they left off last week against Rush and put on 75 before Larkin miscued Andrew Moore to Mal Byrne for 43. Graham joined his brother, saw off Nadim's spell of 0/27 off 10, and helped Rory to 50, when he was caught and bowled by Gargya.

Bauer breezed 28 of the next 41, but had to go when adjudged lbw to Archer. Lanky made very sure Graham didn't get to 50, despatching Gargya for a huge six and a four to bring up 200-3 in the 41st over. Lanky was 16* and Flanagan 45*.

The game was played in excellent spirit in a very uncomfortable wind, the salad tea was first class, both teams are getting it together and able to perform well in the absence of key players, and the umpiring from Azam Ali Baig and David Walsh was very good even though, as you've probably guessed, I wasn't thrilled by the lbw!

Azam afterwards asked me why I wasn't involved with umpire assessment and/or umpire development. I answered him as honestly as I could, which is a lot more honestly than the powers-that-be in the LCUSA have been with me since I retired from umpiring.

The rain that spread across Dublin on Saturday was neither as heavy nor as prolonged as forecast, and some play was possible in the Lewis Hohn Williams Senior Cup semi final between Railway Union and North County on Saturday.

There was a false start in the morning. The weather was fine, the square surprisingly dry after overnight rain, so teams were declared and a toss made at 10:30 a.m. Dara Armstrong had called correctly and had asked Railway to bat. Warm-ups were completed, batsmen padded, the umpires ready to take the field, when, just before five to eleven, it started to rain.

The pitch and bowlers' run-ups were covered, and those sufficiently interested (or without anything else to do) watched England v Bangladesh from Bristol. The Sky commentators served from their usual menu of platitudes, uncritical and highly flattering descriptions of the England team members, some of whom were actually English, plus the shortcomings of Johnny Foreigner in general (unless wearing an England shirt) and Bengalis in particular.

It differed very little from the Sky News coverage of the hunt for and demise of Raoul Moat in Northumberland in its jingoism ('our police/cricketers are wonderful'), its distance from any truth and its utter vacuity and crass populism. I don't need to open any Murdoch paper or tune to any Murdoch channel: I already know what they're going to say!

Umpires Rodney Molins and Gordon Black had decided there was no chance of play before two, so I wandered over the road to Sydney Parade to say hello to the Cork County boys and hear the latest gossip from the 'Broke. Things were fairly soggy there, and it wasn't long after two in the afternoon before the match was abandoned, to be refixed on an unspecified date.

Back up Cold Blow Lane the covers were off and the game due to get underway at two thirty. After another delay for a shower, Kenny Carroll and Tom Fisher faced up to Jimmy Boyland and Conor Shiel at three thirty.

Both were fairly watchful, but Fisher got his drive working and racked up a couple of boundaries. On 14 he drove loosely at Boyland and squirted a catch straight to Eddie Richardson at point. Eddie dropped it. Fisher was now in the groove and moved rapidly through the twenties and thirties.

Richardson had a couple of overs from the St John's Road end, and then Boyland switched to that end. The score had reached 64, with Fisher on 41, when he nicked one low to Armstrong's left. The keeper took a good, sprawling catch.

Graeme McDonnell worked his first ball to leg for a couple and played half forward to the next. There was a big appeal for lbw, answered in the affirmative. I had heard a double click and, on arriving back in the hutch, Graeme assured everybody he'd hit it.

His captain, Conor Mullen, had replaced him, and was two balls into Boyland's next over when the rain suddenly got very heavy. Players off, covers on, but now a choice between jingoism on Sky and bogball on RTE. Bogball with sticks was followed by bogball with fists, England self-destructed, we all had a very nice tea, and went home when the rain wouldn't relent.

At home I watched England nearly manage to rescue themselves from the ignominy of defeat by Banagladesh, but lose in the last over. The Sky team brought out the reserve platitudes: good for the game; had to happen some time; makes Monday's game that much more interesting; zzzzzz.

Over to RTE for a hilarious presentation of the third place playoff game between Germany and Uruguay. The match wasn't bad for such a meaningless prize. If only Sky had the wit to take the mickey out of themselves – I'm sure every comic actor and impersonator would offer their services for free to do the job!

On Sunday I drove first to Milverton to find out when Railway and North County were going to continue their cup match. Monday week, I was told, but still to be confirmed with County. I snuck into the pav, stole a cream and jam scone, and drove down to Kenure.

There a schoolboy match was finishing and the car park was jammed with 4x4s waiting for the little treasures. I've always wondered why anybody needs a military vehicle to drive the kids to school, but having seen that lot, I can just about understand.

Robert Duggan won the toss for Cork County and asked Rush to set a score. The first few overs from Bruce Koch and Ali Parvez were pretty good, and Mick Donnelly got nothing he could whack. Frustrated, he miscued Parvez towards extra cover where Chris Banon effected a very fine low catch.

A seasoned Rush observer told me that Lionel Jansen's batting comes in only two flavours - brilliant and rubbish. This was a brilliant day. 22-1 in the 8th over became 85-1 after 15 overs as Jansen murdered the bowling mainly with superbly timed drives.

There wasn't a slog to be seen as he reached 50 out of 117 in the 18th over. Some elementary arithmetic will tell you that Eoghan Conway wasn't exactly sitting on the splice, and he was working the ball off his legs very effectively as well as driving.

He had got to 48 in the 21st over when he responded late to his skipper's call for a run. There was a flurry of dust as he dived to make his ground, and the throw hit the stumps directly. The Guernsey umpire thought about it and raised the finger.

He should have thought about it a little longer. Perhaps his mind still hadn't recovered from his encounter with Matt Dwyer the day before in Terenure. Whatever, Rush were 131-2 and the leader of the batting averages, Tipu Gull, came to the crease.

Tipu likes to have a look, and played out a maiden from away swing bowler Andy Wooton. Jansen, too, had slowed up in the face of some decent bowling from left-armer James Duggan. He had reached 92 in the 36th over when he lofted Wooton to drag where Parvez took the catch.

Shahid clattered a couple of boundaries to get into double figures, just, when he was dropped by Madden behind the stumps off Wooton. Tipu was at his elegant best, and reached 50 out of 256 in the 42nd over.

Shahid was now doing GBH to the ball, powering anything on a length or fuller high and hard in an arc between mid wicket and mid off, while short balls were carved past point. He reached 50 in the 47th over, and by the time he got on strike on the third ball of the last over he was on 90.

A four and a two followed, and another carve to third man yielded an easy two, easy even for Shahid, up there in the pantheon of the world's worst runners between the wickets. The throw evaded the fielders and rolled off to mid wicket. Shahid called for a third, leaving him off strike with 99* off 58 deliveries.

Tipu took his score to 74* and his average (my stats, which include Irish Senior Cup matches) to 133.25, as Rush finished on 352-3. I don't think that's the score Robert Duggan was envisaging when he had asked Rush to bat three and three quarter hours previously.

For Cork County to get anywhere near that, all their top order bats would have to contribute, building around a big ton from their best bat, Koch. It didn't work out that way. While Shahid gave them a head's start with two five wides, Gull bowled a beautiful line and length on and outside off stump.

He was too good for Andy Wooton (bowled), Robert Duggan (lbw) and Chris Banon (caught behind). In between, Ross Durity had mistimed a shot and holed out to cover, so Tipu had a Guildford Four-for in five overs, and County were 36-4. Tipu finished with 4/17 off 10.

Fortunately for County, Bruce Koch stood firm, and with Mike Wycherly got some relief from the assorted tripe served up by Shahid Iqbal and Amir Iqbal. Jansen took over from Gull in the 17th over and bowled some good stuff and some not-so-good stuff.

Eoghan Conway tried his left-arm seamers from the Loughshinny end, and benefited when Wycherly slogged him to Jansen and Andy Saul nicked one through to the other Eoghan, Sheehan. Surprisingly, Conway was banished to the outfield with figures of 3-1-11-2, and the Donnelly family were invited to the party.

First Mick sent down five overs of right-arm liquorice allsorts which got him the wicket of Koch, caught by Jansen for 47 out of 102. Keeper Madden and 'Foggy' Fogarty gave it a lash, and added 34 before Madden skied a return catch to Donners.

Brother Nick took over with his left-arm pies which Foggy gleefully walloped to all parts before first, Parvez nicked one to Sheehan and second, Fogarty missed the mystery ball, the straight one, to be bowled for 45, and Cork were 181 all out in 37.5 overs.

When County have their full side out (they were missing Mirza Baig from the top of the order and opening bowler Keith Banks), they are a half-decent Division 2 side, far better than Dublin University and Old Belvedere but, without a pro, they would have to be at the top of their form to beat any of the others. I wish them well.